tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11795660666299446652024-03-13T18:25:21.999+00:00Vicki's Notebook.Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.comBlogger327125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-88568642054661782292017-04-04T22:18:00.000+01:002017-04-04T22:19:23.566+01:00Burnt Out (Seven Year Itch?!)Burnt out.<br />
<br />
Tired.<br />
<br />
Tired of testing, logging, bolusing, carb counting, eating, exercising, caring.<br />
<br />
If I were less me, less Vicki, I would just face-plant into the caramel shortbread my friend is currently eating next to me as I type this. Because one, it's from our favourite coffee shop and, two, today they look especially yummy.<br />
<br />
But I am very me, very Vicki, and I know no matter how delicious the cake is, I know I won't feel good for eating it.<br />
<br />
I try not view diabetes as the enemy, and more like my partner. I have to work with it and not against it, because it's here for the long haul, and there's nothing I can do to change that. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/with-vs-in-spite-of.html" target="_blank">You take me with it, not in spite of it. </a><br />
<br />
But I can't hate it either. Because hating something is exhausting and all-consuming. I tolerate it. I think that just about sums it up. Tolerance. Would I give it up? Of course. In a heartbeat. But I can't, and spending my time hating it isn't going to get me anywhere, so I tolerate it. It's there, doing it's thing (or not doing it's thing in this case) whilst I do mine.<br />
<br />
I know these moments of burnout pass. I'm a huge advocate of <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/pity-party.html" target="_blank">The Pity Party</a>. Taking the time to not be okay and acknowledge that this sucks. More often than not, this is a fleeting feeling, but this time it has very much outstayed it's welcome.<br />
<br />
Diabetes is hard. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/self-care.html" target="_blank">Self-care is hard</a>. You constantly have to monitor it and react to the numbers your meter shows you. It's ever-changing, and there are variables that are well and truly out of your control. It doesn't matter what you're doing, diabetes is there.<br />
<br />
It's a balancing act, one that some days you ace and others your face first in the mud trying to pick yourself back up. Some days you don't even think about it, and it's background noise, others you're having to make a concerted effort to check your blood sugar and carb count, because you just don't want to anymore.<br />
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I've not wanted to anymore. I'm tired. If I could stop, I would. But, without a cure, that's not an option. Letting the tiredness turn into more than that, letting it develop into resent, into hate, isn't a choice either. Because that's much harder to get back from.<br />
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We're in it together.<br />
<br />
Seven years and <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/six.html" target="_blank">counting</a>.<br />
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(<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-nagy/the-sevenyear-itch-fact-o_b_2443171.html" target="_blank">Seven year itch?!</a>)<br />
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I am living with diabetes, not in spite of diabetes.<br />
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And I will continue to live with diabetes as successfully as I can.<br />
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-19441420501144942542017-03-15T08:48:00.000+00:002017-03-15T08:48:41.748+00:00To An Old Friend.Dear Friend,<br />
<br />
A little while ago, you sent me a message letting me know that you finally got a type one diabetes diagnosis. (I say finally because, although only there for part of the journey, I know it started in 2010/2011, and it was a long, old, road getting to where we are today. In 2017).<br />
<br />
I'm not gonna lie, I didn't know what to say or do when I read your message. I mean, we hadn't really spoken in a few years. Nothing personal. I did my year abroad, and when I went back to uni, you'd already graduated and moved back home. Life happened. And now here we are.<br />
<br />
I can't imagine how frustrating it's been for you. I remember that year we suspected pancreas-gone-rogue so clearly. I remember how hard we had to fight to be listened to. I remember worrying stupid amounts, and I remember the relief felt when someone did actually listen. And I remember the card with the cupcake on that I bought you, and I remember the message I wrote in it. I actually have the message here. Because I believe in writing drafts before you write essays in cards. It may not be the same, word for word, but I have what I planned on writing, at least.<br />
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I don't even know if you still have said card. Or even remember it. For you, it's more than likely a time you don't want to remember (I get it, I don't like thinking back to how ill I was pre-diagnosis). But for me, it's something I can't help but remember. It's ironic. I wished I had a friend with diabetes. Someone who got it. Yes, I had Lizzie, but at the time her and I hadn't met. I wished it, and then I was heartbroken that it happened.<br />
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I wrote in your card that I was sorry. I still am. As relieved as I am that you're finally getting the right support and medication, I am still so sorry that your pancreas stopped working.<br />
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I also wrote that it gets better. Oh, only-one-year-into-diabetes naivety. It does and it doesn't. You learn more, but there are still periods when diabetes messes with my headspace, and it's crap. But you learn how to cope. And you find whatever the hell it is that's gonna help get you back. For me, it's this tribe - Lizzie, Louise, Daisy, Karen and Max, my friend at work who also has type one. And my littlest friend. He has a way of making the crummiest of days wonderful. So find your tribe, love them hard.<br />
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Even now, six or seven years down the line, I still don't know what to say. I have no diabetes wisdom to impart, no inspirational message to give you. It sucks. Diabetes sucks. But you do what you gotta do to live the life you want to live.<br />
<br />
You know where I am if you need anything.<br />
<br />
Take care,<br />
<br />
Vicki.Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-2795740308401403772017-01-04T22:28:00.001+00:002017-01-04T22:28:27.197+00:00Dear 2016...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Dear 2016,</div>
<br />
Oh, 2016! You were an interesting one, weren't you?! There were laughs, lots of fun had, engagements, too much wine, too much gin and visits to places I used to live. There was travelling - Capri, Rome, Cannes, how you stole my heart! There were work opportunities, <a href="http://www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/queen-honours-sappers-with-visit-103978/" target="_blank">and the Queen came for lunch</a>. I slept in an aquarium (reason number 5876 why I love being a Brownie Leader), watched my sister graduate and finally found a flat to move in to (moving still to come).<br />
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And while adventures were had, 2016, you were also a difficult one. There were health concerns, tests for said health concerns, some rather crummy hba1cs, a lot of diabetes burnout and a lot of concern for <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/easy.html" target="_blank">my Mum and her health</a>. Towards the end of the year, my heart felt heavy. I was tired. I felt lost. I cried a lot. I hid between two places: my place of work, full of distractions (hello, Queen came!) and with my head between books, reading as a form of both escapism and enjoyment.<br />
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Now? Now it's 2017. I know it sounds cliché (because it is, Vicki!) but I love the feel around New Years. Last year is last year. What happened, happened. 2017 is an empty book just waiting to be written and lived. It's a busy one for me this year. Moving house, weddings to attend, a new <a href="https://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/raspberries.html" target="_blank">little friend</a> to meet, countries to visit. And whilst there are still worries that have come with me into 2017, I'm excited for what's to come.<br />
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<i>"Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?" - J.M Barrie, Peter Pan.</i><br />
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May 2017 be full of adventures.<br />
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-88202293899157828832016-05-16T22:03:00.000+01:002016-05-16T22:03:02.614+01:00Diabetes Blog Week: Day 1 - Message Monday.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><br /></i><i>Let's kick off the discussion by talking about why we are here, in the diabetes blog space. What is the most important diabetes awareness message to you? Why is that message important for you, and what are you trying to accomplish by sharing it on your blog? (Thank you Heather Gabel for this topic selection.) </i><br />
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Why am I here? Honestly, I don't really know.<br />
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<a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/take-ii.html">I started this blog when I was feeling a little lost</a>. I was living abroad, struggling with my diabetes care, and I guess I was searching for that genuine "me too" feeling that I now have, thanks to this community.<br />
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My healthcare since my diagnosis has been far from sub-standard. I've always been lucky enough to have access to a good healthcare team, a DSN who is only a phone call away, a dietitian if I need to see one, and, most recently, psychological care, because the emotional side of living with diabetes is just as important as the physiological side.<br />
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Between them, they can help me change my insulin doses, hone in on my carb counting skills, teach me about different bolus settings on my insulin pump. But what they can't do is tell me they understand. That, for me, is where community comes in. I always say my healthcare team can tell my how to use my pump, but they can't tell me how to live with it. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/pumping-insulin-thoughts-at-three-months.html">Purchasing a pump garter to stash my pump in with that dress</a> or what to do with it in those intimate moments is only something you learn from those that live with diabetes (and wear an insulin pump) too.<br />
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So why am I here?<br />
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I've always referred to blogging as my diabetes therapy. Writing down my thoughts, whether privately or through this blog, helps clear my head. Seeing my thoughts in front of me helps me to organise and realign where I'm currently at, and in the same breath helps me see what I need to do to get to where I want to be. At the same time, it's my way of giving back to a community that has given me so much.<br />
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I always remember something <a href="http://www.sixuntilme.com/">Kerri</a> writes in her blogs frequently, regarding her motivations for blogging, and that's that she googled diabetes during those pre-blogging years, and the results were scary. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that when I googled diabetes 6 years ago, I got blogs. People living with, owning, type one diabetes. They gave me hope for my future. They still do. And I will be forever grateful for that. I'm here to add another story to the hope column.<br />
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<i>This week is Diabetes Blog Week (thank you to <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/">Karen at Bittersweet Diabetes</a> for organising this for the seventh year running! <b>Seventh!</b>) To read more most from Day 1, please <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dblogweek&postid=13May2016">click here</a>. For more information about Diabetes Blog Week, <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/2016/05/diabetes-blog-week_9.html">click here</a>. </i><br />
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-85538064578444425202016-04-20T18:55:00.001+01:002016-04-20T21:04:33.177+01:00I Wish People Knew That Diabetes...(The 2016 Edition).Round of applause for <a href="http://diabetesaliciousness.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/iwishpeopleknewthatdiabetes-day-happens.html">Kelly Kunik</a> for this initiative!<br />
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I took part in this initiative last year. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/i-wish-people-knew-that-diabetes.html">2015's version can be found here.</a><br />
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<b>I wish people knew that diabetes is my constant giver of perspective.</b><br />
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Although bad days cause me great frustration, I also find myself eternally grateful for the access I have to insulin, test strips, tech, a healthcare team and the DOC. One minute, I want to throw my pump at the wall, the next I remember how <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/10/insulin-for-all.html">incredibly lucky I am to have it</a>. I moan about how bulky my meter is, but then I tell myself to quit complaining because at least I have one, and one I didn't have to pay for. I ask myself "why me", and in the next breath wonder where I'd be now if I didn't have it. Because as much as it doesn't define me, it changed me as a person.<br />
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<b>I wish people knew that diabetes takes up a lot of space in my head and heart.</b><br />
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From perspective to blood sugar balancing, gratitude to fear. I've learnt to manage that aspect, and I try not give it more space than it needs, but I'm only human. We're only human. And sometimes, diabetes needs a bit more space before you're able to shove it back in it's box. Community helps a lot with this. And it's why I'm grateful (gratitude's back) for #IWishPeopleKnewThatDiabetes Day. And <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/D-Blog%20Week">Diabetes Blog Week</a>. And <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/diabetes-week-2014-ican.html">Diabetes Awareness Week</a>. Peer support is powerful, and makes me feel all the feels. So if you need a great big cup of "me too" (which today has 100% been), please go check out the hashtag on Twitter. It's a virtual group hug if ever I saw one!<br />
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-25980488745103069642016-03-29T13:20:00.000+01:002016-04-08T04:46:16.077+01:00Six.Things I've learnt having been <i>sans</i> insulin since 2010:<br />
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<ul>
<li>There's a life after diagnosis. </li>
<li>There are times when <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/guest-post-that-one-time-she-was-in-dka.html">diabetes scares me</a>. It's not something I voice often, but it does. </li>
<li>There are times I wish diabetes wasn't my reality. </li>
<li>On the flip side, however, <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/in-it-together.html">there are people I wouldn't have met</a> if it wasn't for this disease. People that I can't imagine not knowing. </li>
<li>And as much as I wish it wasn't my reality, what frustrates me more is that <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/zero.html">there are people in this world that don't even have access to insulin</a>. And as much as I'd like a cure, I'd like to see <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/putting-world-back-into-world-diabetes.html">insulin for all happen first</a>. Because diabetes shouldn't be a death sentence. </li>
<li>Sometimes, diabetes is funny. Sometimes it isn't.</li>
<li>Testing my blood sugar is the best way for me to keep my diabetes "on track" - I wish it were true that my pump just "sorts it", but it's just a tool that I choose to use to manage my diabetes, along with my Freestyle Libre. </li>
<li><a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/revisiting-food-guilt-and-diabetes.html">Diabetes and food is so complicated</a>. But a healthy balance can be found. </li>
<li>Diabetes changed me: it's made me more in tune with my health. I watch what I eat, I exercise, I see my health care team regularly. It's made me more appreciative of the world around me. It inspires me to do more, love harder and not let it hold me back. </li>
<li>I have type one diabetes = I'm a person with diabetes = I'm type one diabetic. Some people have preferences about this. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/to-have-diabetes-or-to-be-diabetic.html">I personally don't</a>. Bottom line: my pancreas doesn't work.</li>
<li>I am not alone. </li>
<li>Knowing that, <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/why.html">community and peer support</a> has become as essential to my diabetes care as the insulin I infuse. </li>
<li>Diabetes is not a character flaw. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/with-vs-in-spite-of.html">You accept me with it, not in spite of it</a>. </li>
<li>Disclosing my diabetes acts as a barometer for jerks. When disclosing, I'm carefully watching, looking at how the person reacts.</li>
<li>Emotional health is SO important: my blood sugars get chaotic quickly when my head's not in the game. </li>
<li>NovoRapid ain't that rapid. </li>
<li>Pre-bolusing is the one. As is actually carb counting, and not just guessing.</li>
<li>(The point above first came out as "Pre-blousing is the one. As is actually crab counting, and not just guessing" because autocorrect.)</li>
<li>Diabetes sometimes makes me cry, and that's okay. It can be a relentless fucker at times, and every now and then a good cry is what I need. In the same breath, I celebrate the victories too. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and it's totally okay to feel all parts of life, whether diabetes related or not. </li>
<li>That time flies pretty damn quickly! When I was diagnosed, hitting five years with diabetes seemed like forever away, let alone getting closer to the ten year mark! </li>
<li>That I can do this. </li>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-20086047726183005462016-03-28T11:54:00.000+01:002016-03-28T12:01:35.846+01:00The Food Diary.I've always avoided keeping food diaries. Always. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/revisiting-food-guilt-and-diabetes.html">There's a guilt that has always accompanied them</a>, for me, so I've always dodged them, focussing my clinic appointments on other aspects of my diabetes care and not the food side of things. My blood sugars aren't exactly horrendous, so keeping my HCPs' eyes on other parts of my health, for the most part, is easy.<br />
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I had an appointment with my diabetes team last week. My hba1c wasn't where I wanted it to be, and I was told I'd put on weight. Not a lot, but, much like my hba1c, my weight is personal, and, again, it's not where I want it to be. As per usual, I kept emphasis on my ratios and basal rates, discussed my thyroid medication and my love-hate relationship with exercise.<br />
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With no mention of food or diet, I left my appointment and headed back to work before heading away on course the same evening.<br />
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It was Saturday evening, when I was sat watching X-Men with a (small) bowl of popcorn on my lap and a (large) glass of wine to my left that I wondered how I got here. I didn't feel hungry, but I was eating the popcorn anyway. And who knows where the glass of wine came from!! (Wine fairy, anyone?!)<br />
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That was when I resolved to keep a log of my food intake for a week. Not because I had to, and not because I was being told to by my health care team. But because I wanted to hone back in on my food choices and what I'm eating day to day. Because, it became very clear halfway through my movie that I had no effing idea what was happening day-to-day.<br />
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Now I'm coming to the end of my week of food logging, I remember why I don't like it. (Actually, it only took me a couple of days to remember why I don't like it!) It's not a level of accountability I enjoy or embrace, and I still feel guilty for some of my food choices. But (and I say this with SO MUCH reluctance) it's so damn useful. After just a few days, I could see that my coffee intake is shocking (and I can't even say the mug is small to make up for it), and my willpower is fine in the mornings and afternoons, whilst at work, but the moment I get home (or at weekends), I undo what has been, for the most part (let's ignore the caffeine intake) a balanced day of eating.<br />
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As insightful an exercise this has been, I'm happy to stop now. I know where the issues are, and I know what I need to do going forward. I'm glad to have made a conscious effort to realign my diabetes, brain and stomach. It's a step in the right direction to (hopefully) get my blood sugars back in check.<br />
<br />Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-87141261378915787752016-03-09T22:03:00.000+00:002016-03-09T22:03:03.886+00:00Thinking About Blogging.Hi *sheepishly waves from the safety and comfort that is behind my laptop screen*<br />
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I don't really know where to start. My time between blog posts seems to be getting longer and longer, and there are only so many times that I can make excuses for it.<br />
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So, this time, no excuses.<br />
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I somewhat lost interest in blogging.<br />
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Not because I didn't have anything to say, but because I needed to work out where I was at with regard to social media.<br />
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I love the Diabetes Online Community. I've said it time and time again: for me, it's as important as the insulin in my pump - emotionally, it keeps me grounded. Nothing beats understanding, particularly from those that are at a similar stage of life as me (twenties, wading through life not really having a clue where you're at, who you are or what you're doing, and T1D is along for the ride - if this sounds familiar, hit me up! We'll figure things out together :) ).<br />
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When I was at uni, I threw myself into the DOC. And I have no regrets over that - it's brought me some <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/friends-with-d-are-friends-indeed.html">fabulous friendships</a> that I wouldn't trade in for the world. The connections have been there through a hypo at 2am, the stories shared offering endless amounts of hope about my future with type one. But since leaving uni and entering the (exciting?!) world of employment, I've leaned towards being more of an avid reader as opposed to a contributor.<br />
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I needed to figure out what I wanted from the community, and what I wanted to contribute to it. (<a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/diabetes-blog-week-day-6-favourites-and.html">Because support required changes</a> as often as insulin requirements - it's never static).<br />
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Blogs are something I love. Real life stories of living an *actual* life with diabetes are what I look for. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/resonates.html">Not only do they often resonate</a>, but they also inspire me in terms of my future.<br />
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I loved (love) writing and blogging. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/diabetes-therapy.html">It was (is) my diabetes therapy</a>. I don't care how many or how few people read my ramblings (and this blog is most definitely a rambling!) One thing I have umm-ed and ahh-ed over, however, is privacy. How much of my life do I want online? This is what somewhat explains the blog tumbleweed. I needed to have a very long think about what I wanted online. Because we all know, once it's out there, you ain't getting that shit back.<br />
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And that's not always a bad thing. It's just a case of thinking about what I publish. You'll notice in past blog posts, real names are a no-go, particularly when it comes to my littlest friend (who's not so little these days, and will be taller than my 5ft1" self very soon, I'm sure!)<br />
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When I <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/take-ii.html">started this blog</a>, I was 20. I was <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Year%20abroad">living in Spain</a> (oh, tapas and sangria, how I miss you!) I was struggling and I was removed from my support network. So I blogged, blogged, blogged. Anything and everything. And, for the first time in a long time, emotionally at least, I felt better.<br />
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Now? Now, having had a long think about privacy, and discussions with a few friends, I've decided I want to get back into blogging. For real this time. Because the blogs found in this little corner of the Internet have helped and inspired me immensely. And I want to continue to put my story "out there". Providing a story that resonates with just one person makes it all worth it, in my opinion.<br />
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-58975540221781232102016-01-25T22:55:00.000+00:002016-01-25T22:55:33.898+00:00Advocacy Guilt.It was brought to my attention yesterday that <a href="http://www.thyroid.org/january-thyroid-awareness/">January is Thyroid Awareness Month</a>. (Well, in the US it is, anyway, but it doesn't change this post, nonetheless).<br />
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.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfbhmT4DZh8XwNnM5wdpmwAogMEiNn62mYM_yP-BFEpStGLvrCwRYLTbL7DcUURX4jxha5VYaXYfOFsBWr4NwoYDK6nRby6aclHMrGnD_cFu1-T3YxOuqmd2iTx40Fk-b1dqDPn8J4TNBK/s640/blogger-image--103234858.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfbhmT4DZh8XwNnM5wdpmwAogMEiNn62mYM_yP-BFEpStGLvrCwRYLTbL7DcUURX4jxha5VYaXYfOFsBWr4NwoYDK6nRby6aclHMrGnD_cFu1-T3YxOuqmd2iTx40Fk-b1dqDPn8J4TNBK/s320/blogger-image--103234858.jpg" width="253" /></a></div>
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I had no idea.<br />
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<a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/self-care.html">Self care for my diabetes is so involved</a>: I check my blood sugar, <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Insulin%20pump">I wear an insulin pump</a>, I count my carbs and dose insulin accordingly, I adjust my medication for exercise, stress and other emotions. I meticulously count the gulps of juice when I'm low to avoid over treating, and I do everything in my power not to rage bolus when my blood sugar is high and my insulin doesn't seem to be touching it (but I know it eventually will).<br />
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My family, friends and colleagues know I have type one diabetes. And to those that don't, I wear a <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/invisible.html">medic alert bracelet</a>, alerting them to the fact I have a health condition of some kind.<br />
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Self care for my underactive thyroid involves taking a tablet at 8.30am everyday.<br />
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That's it. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/better-than-yesterday.html">My family, my closest friends and my boss know that I have an underactive thyroid</a>. My family and closest friends, because I spoke to them about where I was at before I started thyroid medication. My boss, because I was at work when I got the diagnosis, and I had a little pity party.<br />
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I don't think about my thyroid and what it doesn't do in the same way I do my pancreas, and what it doesn't do (but I so badly want it to do). My lack of thyroid action doesn't impact my life in the same way my lack of pancreas action does. For the most part, diabetes peppers the background of my day, and my underactive thyroid I don't even consider an issue, as I just take my medication as prescribed, and that's it.<br />
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I wonder how different it would I only have an underactive thyroid, and no diabetes. Would I still consider it a "nothing issue" or do I just think of it like that because I'm comparing it to something that, in my opinion, is much more involved?<br />
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Would I be writing about my underactive thyroid in the same way I do my diabetes?<br />
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Who knows. I'll never know.<br />
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The point is, I feel somewhat guilty, as if I should be as eager to advocate about my "other health condition"' just like I am when it comes to my diabetes. But I'm just not into it. Maybe because I don't know enough about it? Or maybe, like I've said, compared to my diabetes, I don't even consider it an "issue"?<br />
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I don't know. But because it is Thyroid Awareness Month (and I still have a few days until February), I am going to research some blogs, and learn from those that are sharing their stories online like I am. (I'll also see if there's UK based awareness campaign for thyroid-related problems, and probably watch from the sidelines. I feel participating may be somewhat out of my comfort-zone, unlike talking diabetes online, which is my norm. We'll see!)<br />
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Because, whatever chronic condition(s) we live with, although we are not defined by it (them), it (they) does (do) help explain us <a href="http://www.sixuntilme.com/">(last line credit to SUM's tag line)</a>.<br />
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-7009821368798616852016-01-24T11:51:00.002+00:002016-01-24T11:51:32.452+00:002016.<div style="text-align: justify;">
Oh, hey there! It's been a while, hasn't it?! I mean, we've not spoken since, what, last year?! Crazy, right? How have you been? I hope life's been treating you well.</div>
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Me?!</div>
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I'm doing really well thanks. Been off my advocacy/blogging game for a little bit, with other things taking priority, but I actually welcomed the break from the online stuff. I feel like I've been truly present in my "actual life" and that feels pretty darn good. As incredibly grateful I am for this little corner of the interweb, and the "me too" comfort I sought for a long time, sometimes a step back is what I need. Not because I no longer seek that comfort, but because I've found it's very easy to get so involved here, that I then start to neglect other priorities.</div>
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Striking a <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/balance.html">balance is something I'm constantly in pursuit of.</a></div>
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2016.</div>
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How did that happen?! Seriously?! (Happy New Year, by the way! I've just scrolled back up and checked - I've not said that yet. Very rude of me.)</div>
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My plans for this year?</div>
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They're pretty non-existent, I'm not going to lie. This year, I've chosen to not set resolutions. What's with the January pressure to do that anyway?! That, and 12 months is a really long time. There's a very good chance that what I "resolve to do in January" will be null and void before the end of the month! Things change, and I'm okay with that.</div>
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Instead, along with still pursuing balance, my plan is to...well...just go with it. Because, no matter how hard I try, navigating my way through my twenties isn't something I can plan to the letter. Plans change, life happens, and I just need to roll with the punches. It doesn't mean I'm failing, it means I'm adapting, and open to change.</div>
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I have no idea what the next 341 days have in store for me, but I'm excited to see where 2016 takes me.</div>
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Game on, life, game on.</div>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-54620608914116668262015-11-14T23:52:00.000+00:002015-11-14T23:52:19.112+00:00Heavy Heart (World Diabetes Day 2015).<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today, November 14th, marks Frederick Banting's birthday, which in turn marks World Diabetes Day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Usually, for me, <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/happy-birthday-banting-world-diabetes.html">November 14th</a> marks a day of celebration and thankfulness that Banting, along with Charles Best, discovered insulin, the very thing I need to live.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This year, however, World Diabetes Day feels very different, following what happened in Paris yesterday evening. This year, my heart is heavy, mourning a city, a country, that was my home, albeit for a short period of time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then I saw the below posted on Twitter, reminding me that's okay to acknowledge the two side by side. Hence me writing at 11pm.</span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSwljmhMdKvQrN0y6dIpAxwsk7zyR_OMJjgdr3u1wB8c6Xbx3uqiJ7AhQtzRZfPcl9hNG6f_OPoAWYCqyibFjjG-bzKuj78yE4rO-07CAoGjdtVvUUiLC8ixAkgsBlQiBXcPxLgCG8nW0z/s640/blogger-image--831626271.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSwljmhMdKvQrN0y6dIpAxwsk7zyR_OMJjgdr3u1wB8c6Xbx3uqiJ7AhQtzRZfPcl9hNG6f_OPoAWYCqyibFjjG-bzKuj78yE4rO-07CAoGjdtVvUUiLC8ixAkgsBlQiBXcPxLgCG8nW0z/s400/blogger-image--831626271.jpg" width="355" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.ardensday.com/blog/wddparis">Source.</a></span><br />
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On social media outlets last night, I saw how the world came together: #prayforfrance #porteouverte and the lighting up monuments in the colours of the French flag.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I see how the diabetes community comes together regularly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It supports, it advises (non-medically speaking), it listens. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It campaigns, it encourages, it cares.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Whoever you are, wherever you are, the DOC is there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">People, on the whole, are good. And people, on the whole, care. I see that on a daily basis, with my family, friends, colleagues, and those I interact with online.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I've seen it over the last 24 hours following the attacks in Paris last night.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Let's keep on coming together for good.</span></div>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-68662363250691894462015-11-02T12:20:00.000+00:002015-11-02T12:20:07.262+00:00November.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here we go again, November. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Diabetes Awareness Month. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A whirlwind of campaigns and blogs all aiming to raise awareness of diabetes, whatever the type, with World Diabetes Day falling in the middle of it all (November 14th). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This year, it seems to be kicking off with the JDRF campaign <i><a href="http://jdrf.org/t1dlookslikeme/?i">T1D Looks Like Me</a></i>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqHrdAFj7CwqCPY5qppFvU4C1j0E5a1vwNNkluePs50D0OagNV6_0uSFwoOcKTRR-2Asr2IogiTOYoVoUx38EsCSL9J9VEsrtyXIUuTiEgghkGTeFWNInaZbTpXuMw1O0udXDgEFiZpMGT/s640/blogger-image--393885797.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqHrdAFj7CwqCPY5qppFvU4C1j0E5a1vwNNkluePs50D0OagNV6_0uSFwoOcKTRR-2Asr2IogiTOYoVoUx38EsCSL9J9VEsrtyXIUuTiEgghkGTeFWNInaZbTpXuMw1O0udXDgEFiZpMGT/s320/blogger-image--393885797.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Whilst my aim this November is to shine a bit of a spotlight on diabetes and raise awareness, I'm also hoping to pay some attention to some other advocacy efforts that are taking place. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">November doesn't just mark Diabetes Awareness Month. It is also Lung Cancer Awareness Month, Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month, Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month, Stomach Cancer Awareness Month, Mouth Cancer Awareness Month, Movember...I could go on!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">By writing blogs and campaigning like we do through November, we hope to reach a community wider than our own DOC bubble. I'm sure those adovcating for other health conditions throughout November hope to do the same.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So whilst advocating for myself, I'm also going to listen to others outside of my bubble.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">November, let's go!</span></div>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-91306927438995073592015-10-19T20:01:00.003+01:002015-10-19T20:01:23.040+01:00Insulin For All. <div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Diabetes Awareness Month and <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/World%20Diabetes%20Day">World Diabetes Day</a> are fast approaching, and I'd like to make you aware of a returning campaign in the run up to November 14th.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Last year, Liz from <a href="http://t1international.com/">T1 International</a> and Lucy from <a href="http://www.thependseytrust.org/">The Pendsey Trust</a> got together and created a campaign with the resounding message being <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/putting-world-back-into-world-diabetes.html">"Put the world back into World Diabetes Day"</a> and it was a huge success.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This year, the message is going to be slightly different - <a href="http://t1international.com/">"We are the world in World Diabetes Day"</a> - but the aim is the same - insulin for all.</span></div>
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I've written a lot about this (see <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/diabetes-blog-week-day-4-changes.html">here</a> and <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/zero.html">here</a>) and, out of fear of repeating myself, I'm not going to go on in this post. But I will say this (and repeat myself anyway): insulin is not a luxury, it is necessary to live. Every single person in this world diagnosed with diabetes deserves a chance at living with it, no matter their age, background, country. The fact that type one diabetes is still a death sentence in some countries is shocking, especially in the year 2015.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, how can you get involved?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's pretty simple. Like last year, the main premise is to take a picture of yourself holding a sign that says "We are the world in World Diabetes Day" and share on social media with the hashtag #insulinforall</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And if posting a selfie isn't enough for you, feel free to check this <a href="http://insulin4all.tumblr.com/toolkit">list</a> out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have no doubt there'll be more to come in the lead up to WDD :)</span></div>
Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-35558072534098936462015-10-10T15:38:00.000+01:002015-10-10T15:38:58.167+01:00Pause.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is nice: it's a Saturday afternoon, and I'm doing absolutely nothing. I went for a run this morning, which was my first run in a while, and it felt good. I had a quick coffee with E.Hales before getting my flu jab, and now I have no plans.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My life seems to have two paces at the moment: a whirlwind of everything happening all at once and nothing. Today, everything has stopped, and I'm very grateful for that. I've needed things to slow down for a while, but my trip to California and then various work commitments upon my return has meant that that hasn't happened until now. Hence the lack of blog action here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, why has life had me so busy? Well, like I said, I went to California for a week to see my old housemate, Lopez. All of my diabetes-related appointments happened the week after I got back, and the end of summer leave at work has meant that it was a case of hit-the-ground-running as soon as I returned. I'm also still trying to figure out what comes next, career-wise, which is draining in itself, but I think I may actually be getting somewhere with those decisions. Health-wise, I'm slowly beginning to use more test strips during the course of my day, and, as a result, my numbers are slowly coming in at levels I want them to. I know it's a simple concept: check blood sugar, use that data to make diabetes-decisions. But living at 100mph has meant that something has had to give, and unfortunately it was diabetes that took the hit. Another reason for the lack of posts here - how can I sit here and write when I'm not walking my talk?! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Acknowledging this made me re-focus my efforts and my priorities. My job is important to me, as is finding the time for my family and friends and godson. But by juggling this, I let my own wellbeing slip. I stopped going to the gym, because I was just too tired to go. My weekends were so packed with coffee dates and dinners and playing with my littlest friend that I ended up going back to work on the Monday as tired as I was when I left Friday evenings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Re-focussing has left me feeling ultimately happier, with more energy, and just generally feeling good about myself and where my life is currently at.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Acknowledging when things aren't quite right is a good thing, because you can make changes. But it's also important to acknowledge when your efforts have paid off, as an act of kindness to yourself, which is what I'm doing now. And I'm not ashamed to say it.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqHAAEXYJOrBESmWzdTOhNQXAK51Bh8tzF1Kmh-PVyd6Zet6im6k0OMgMlXojZp1S6jvzVHJl3Uzx725j-4tVlhPoFxgbJy1nyEPMr2MR968EVoKLgDf4PThzVRI06pmVCqvcgoHcO5oGR/s640/blogger-image--1959433222.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqHAAEXYJOrBESmWzdTOhNQXAK51Bh8tzF1Kmh-PVyd6Zet6im6k0OMgMlXojZp1S6jvzVHJl3Uzx725j-4tVlhPoFxgbJy1nyEPMr2MR968EVoKLgDf4PThzVRI06pmVCqvcgoHcO5oGR/s400/blogger-image--1959433222.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Point Magu - California.</span></i></td></tr>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-30144247756163760772015-08-21T21:39:00.000+01:002015-08-21T21:39:09.606+01:00Better Than Yesterday.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was about three months ago when I got a call from my DSN asking me what thyroid tablets I'm on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I'm not on any thyroid tablets," I replied.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Really? Well your thyroid function test has come back abnormal. It's nothing to panic about, but because we don't have a baseline for you, I'd like you to get another blood test in six weeks."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Okay," I responded, not really sure what to say. I hung up the phone, closed my office door and had a little cry. At 22 years old, another health condition wasn't what I was looking for. My manager walked in during my <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/pity-party.html">pity party</a>. I have no doubt he regrets that - once I've cried on someone once, I have no fear about crying on them again. Not that I knew it then, but it would happen a lot more over the coming weeks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: justify;">The office door ended up closed a lot more. I always used to be an open-door-kind-of-girl, but for some reason I just didn't want to deal with people. Closing the door stopped the traffic of people I often encountered (and used to love), and I could focus on other jobs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Loss of interest came next. I lost my patience with people quickly, continued to hide away, if not in my office, in my manager's office or at the cafe on camp. Comfort eating became a regular thing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">* * * * *</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then came the official diagnosis. Underactive thyroid and to start on Thyroxine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Have you had any symptoms at all?" my DSN asked. "Tiredness, lethargic?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Not that I've noticed."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Maybe we've caught it before it becomes symptomatic then. So get started on those meds asap!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">* * * * *</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was the week between diagnosis and starting medication that I crumbled. I felt broken, disconnected, disengaged and a whole load of other things. I phoned my DSN and asked if an underactive thyroid can mess with your head. Because although I had no physical symptoms, my head was all over the place, and as far as I was concerned it had come out of no where. I completely broke down.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I know we spoke about the physical symptoms, but can a thyroid problem mess with your headspace? Because I don't feel like me. I feel broken. And I don't know what to do...You know what, I'd actually take my diabetes diagnosis all over again over this. At least then I still felt like me. Symptoms were physical and I could explain them. But this I can't. And it's shit."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">* * * * *</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My best friend is a smart one. She can read me through a text message. Sometimes, it's annoying, other times I'm thankful for it. This time, I was incredibly thankful for it. We went out shopping, had some dinner, I voiced what I could explain. She didn't pry further, just let me disclose what I wanted.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I started taking thyroxine tablets. One 100mcg tablet a day, at 8.30am, half an hour before breakfast. It sounds really stupid, but taking them gave me hope. Hope that this was the beginning of me being me again. I knew it wouldn't be immediate, but it was a starting point. Because feeling the way I did sucked big time.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp2C2cQUXtoH4m8Q1sxN-JxnyctcQUGqBigSq1cMqZBNQJZ9-GywKNKudbuUNjUkVH1NtX_2LsgbfCFCd6qtKPyJNZ_Ko5SqYhILkMFpvAlraFJGTrcNBw73-1EfhWKHfeI_Pu5FrsFrPc/s640/blogger-image-1879434562.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: start;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp2C2cQUXtoH4m8Q1sxN-JxnyctcQUGqBigSq1cMqZBNQJZ9-GywKNKudbuUNjUkVH1NtX_2LsgbfCFCd6qtKPyJNZ_Ko5SqYhILkMFpvAlraFJGTrcNBw73-1EfhWKHfeI_Pu5FrsFrPc/s320/blogger-image-1879434562.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"By my birthday,"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"What?" my manager asked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"By my birthday is when I want to start feeling like me again. My DSN said the tablets will take a couple of weeks to kick in, my birthday is in three and a half. So that's what I'm shooting for."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He smiled and left the office.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">* * * * *</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"How are you doing today?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Better than yesterday. And that's all I can ask for," I said with a genuine smile.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I knew you'd make it. Happy birthday, my dear."</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsW3tPJPytmmyALNnz1-YGmOImITt6wQqfInsaW3JoipQHvHVhqy9EyCdkC7G55hz_h2S1kk3cKyBmuvIdpXekd1R8Q4sTI7WHK-I9XSUwK9Ys46FaYKwi6CqU27Mb_f1ngWIY-r_joVgu/s640/blogger-image-1189849648.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsW3tPJPytmmyALNnz1-YGmOImITt6wQqfInsaW3JoipQHvHVhqy9EyCdkC7G55hz_h2S1kk3cKyBmuvIdpXekd1R8Q4sTI7WHK-I9XSUwK9Ys46FaYKwi6CqU27Mb_f1ngWIY-r_joVgu/s320/blogger-image-1189849648.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Not feeling like myself meant I didn't want to write here. I took the break from this blog (and social media in general) so that I could figure things out. I wasn't ready to share, and I wasn't going to bullcrap on this blog and pretend that everything was a-okay.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today, however, I feel better than yesterday, and better than the day before that. And that really is all I can ask for. </span><br />
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-51216462886399788592015-08-20T21:53:00.000+01:002015-08-20T21:53:16.516+01:00Hello, Blog!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDH10bA8tT7ye3DWjZh3AbtdsHH4HQ-i4nwWFYBawEzjUGgPXbEnjtX5Fn6P8ilQWTxbpHJJOURx1pJhEqKNdo5TDHOjY1zCDRcrlWC_k8gLGqaHksoTS4FiTSEkaJU4BFtpGUguFWybrt/s640/blogger-image-257742218.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="365" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDH10bA8tT7ye3DWjZh3AbtdsHH4HQ-i4nwWFYBawEzjUGgPXbEnjtX5Fn6P8ilQWTxbpHJJOURx1pJhEqKNdo5TDHOjY1zCDRcrlWC_k8gLGqaHksoTS4FiTSEkaJU4BFtpGUguFWybrt/s400/blogger-image-257742218.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>"That there is your insulin pump, and that there is a monster taking it. But you get it back."<br />I write here, honest! I needed to take some time out (as you may have noticed from the digital tumbleweed here). But I feel ready to start sharing again. So, hello again, blog! </i></span></td></tr>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-36530787532503682012015-07-24T10:30:00.000+01:002015-07-24T10:30:00.557+01:00365 Days After Graduation.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>"It's funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different" C.S.Lewis.</b></i></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk1TPQ2b0zD1jMQUGjRx0-Ac8Ycc2uQSEvFWG_4MADcoO_8fax_l8t4Bt6SBsu2BmBSFsJlWQdMxrqhdn8J51S_5I-ix8OHD4c2iPsPQkOR9tUxxPs4Lb1053e5YWftsRJoBQvlsXMLBxC/s640/blogger-image-857238723.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: start;"><img border="0" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk1TPQ2b0zD1jMQUGjRx0-Ac8Ycc2uQSEvFWG_4MADcoO_8fax_l8t4Bt6SBsu2BmBSFsJlWQdMxrqhdn8J51S_5I-ix8OHD4c2iPsPQkOR9tUxxPs4Lb1053e5YWftsRJoBQvlsXMLBxC/s320/blogger-image-857238723.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/graduated.html">I graduated July 24th 2014</a>. One whole year ago! Seriously, where is the time going?! A lot has changed over the last 365 days, and I've learnt a lot. So here it goes:</span></div>
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<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's okay to not have an effing clue what you're meant to do after graduation. I've been a graduate for a whole year now, and I still have no idea. But I'm happy with where I'm currently at.</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As exciting as life after graduation can be, sometimes I find the real world really sucks. People aren't always kind, workplace politics can be a bit of a bitch, and some days it's just a real effing struggle. </span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Getting up early doesn't get any easier, no matter how many times you snooze your alarm. And sleeping through your alarm and going to work with wet hair is not as acceptable as it was at uni.</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Holidays are few and far between. Choose holiday days carefully. And savour every minute of them!</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Same goes for weekends. Life after uni generally means working full days, not one lecture at 10am then done for the day. Use the time to catch up with family and friends and just switch off. </span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't give your personal mobile number out to people at work unless you 100% trust them not to give it out to anyone else. I don't think this should have even made the list, because...general etiquette...but thanks to someone giving out my number, I get work calls on my personal phone. Not okay with that. </span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Remember reading for fun?! That's an actual thing. I forgot after four years of uni when all I did was read for assignments and classes, not because I wanted to. I love that I love reading again.</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My health is more important to me now than it was whilst I was at uni. I'm not too sure why, it just is. I put effort into managing my diabetes, make sure I attend my appointments, get blood work done in advance, eat well and exercise regularly. I've started to take the time out to experiment with food, make meals I wouldn't usually make, and just generally take care of myself. </span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sleep is the thing. Going to bed early so you're bright eyed for work is okay. And passing up an invite to go out drinking is okay. It's also totally fine to accept such an invitation, but saying no is a-okay too. </span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maintaining relationships is hard. People become busy after graduation, travelling, working, chasing careers, just generally doing their thing and being awesome. Even if it's only every couple of months, make the effort to make that phone call, send that text or email, arrange that skype date or FaceTime, go for coffee one weekend. </span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Putting money into my savings account every month is maybe one of my best habits as an almost grown-up.</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/balance.html">Take the time to find balance</a>. Your balance. And work at maintaining it. Everything's so much easier with a little balance. </span></li>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-10776600999775117732015-07-13T22:06:00.002+01:002015-07-13T22:19:13.463+01:00The One Where I Ran 10km.<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On Sunday, 12th July 2015, <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/locked-out.html">E.Hales</a> and I woke up, donned our pinkest clothes (read: I stole one of her very many pink tops - I'm not a pink person) and made our way to our local <i>Race for Life</i>. If you don't know, <i><a href="http://raceforlife.cancerresearchuk.org/types-of-event/10k-events/index.html">Race for Life</a></i> is a run in aid of <a href="http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/">Cancer Research UK</a>. You can run, jog or walk 10km, 5km, or take part in the <i><a href="http://raceforlife.cancerresearchuk.org/types-of-event/pretty-muddy/pretty-muddy-obstacles/index.html">Pretty Muddy</a></i> 5km assault course (which we're looking to do next year). It's a very pink day and it's awesome!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFOqx-oNtj9UE8Qeo8Ffw7W20Xa5w-Npc-Djd1Ndc4AhvIK10dLg7TVbV2mzTs88R-DsKLFAJo1R84ynd3yDP7uh10qwAKejwKfbynJf-9xb0GaWdAMjkqRQu0o8i66v77BzepHkNnfRRM/s640/blogger-image--145158194.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFOqx-oNtj9UE8Qeo8Ffw7W20Xa5w-Npc-Djd1Ndc4AhvIK10dLg7TVbV2mzTs88R-DsKLFAJo1R84ynd3yDP7uh10qwAKejwKfbynJf-9xb0GaWdAMjkqRQu0o8i66v77BzepHkNnfRRM/s320/blogger-image--145158194.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This was my first 10km run. I hadn't done as much training as I wanted to - a combination of work, other commitments and a bit of exercise burnout left me feeling a little unprepared, but that feeling didn't last too long. When you take part in a <i>Race for Life</i> event, everyone has a sign on their back that says why they're taking part.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The. Biggest. Motivator. Ever.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We heard some people share their experiences. We had a minutes silence to think of all those that are battling cancer, have lost their lives to cancer and have kicked cancer's butt. We warmed up. We ran. (Most of it, anyway. A blood sugar of 18.8mmol after 5km left me confused and not all there, taking a correction bolus and chugging a bottle of water.) We crossed the finish line. We hugged. We cried. We gratefully accepted the brioche that was being offered to us at the end (blood sugar clocked in at 12mmol by the end of the race). We happily accepted our medals. We clapped and cheered others as they ran/jogged/walked. We were united, with one aim: cure all cancers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I (mostly) ran. For those battling cancer. For those that have lost their lives to cancer. For those that have survived cancer. For my future. For my family's future. For the next generation's future.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG0fxFGeTJhH7KgUX_9_HqYDlXht908jQP5jyYdjZNkjjJuGF7jcuL7EFvCDG762go0Fn8lYomqQQPVYkgwfJ5RDLO1sx5xFQnUkIOz9hyphenhyphenVzBQWInWEKUCTw9WLWeBJf5nVnJKS4wRkEWr/s640/blogger-image-1732813453.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG0fxFGeTJhH7KgUX_9_HqYDlXht908jQP5jyYdjZNkjjJuGF7jcuL7EFvCDG762go0Fn8lYomqQQPVYkgwfJ5RDLO1sx5xFQnUkIOz9hyphenhyphenVzBQWInWEKUCTw9WLWeBJf5nVnJKS4wRkEWr/s320/blogger-image-1732813453.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here's to kicking cancer's butt.</span></div>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-70262734705847795912015-07-07T22:51:00.001+01:002015-07-07T22:51:55.619+01:00Living.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Let me drive you home, please?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I'm fine," I replied, "not low anymore. Not shaky, not dizzy, not feeling weird, and my blood sugar is 7.2mmol. And I've eaten a granola bar. I'm fine."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Yeah, but..."</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Yeah but what?!" I interrupted. "This is my normal. Lows are something I'm used to, highs are something I'm used to. If I stopped<span style="background-color: white;"> every time...sought help every time</span>...I'd never do anything alone. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/06/conceal-dont-feel-dont-let-them-know.html">You've said I need to trust you</a>, you need to trust me too. I live with diabetes every single day, and have done for the last <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/just-another-day.html">five and a bit years</a>. I know what I'm doing."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Fine. Text me when you get home, just so I know you haven't flaked on the train and ended up and the end of the train line!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I'm not gonna flake out. And if I do, <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/invisible.html">that's what my medic alert's for - hedge my bets</a>!" I was hoping to lighten the mood, but instead my manager just glared at me. "Okay, seriously, I've done some stupid shit, like <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/doh.html">frozen my insulin</a>, but I'm not stupid enough to try to make it home if my blood sugar's crummy."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"You've frozen your insulin?!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Story for another time, boss. See you tomorrow. I'll text you when I'm home."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know there are times when I'm fiercely independent and far too stubborn, but this was one I wasn't going to back down on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For the record, I made it home. Which you've probably gathered seeing as I'm blogging about it.</span></div>
Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-41547886572006099902015-06-15T20:19:00.002+01:002015-06-15T20:19:33.976+01:00What I Learnt By Taking A Pump Break.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In bullet point fashion, of course:</span></div>
<ul>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMRQlDuEtm2QSWEYUVK-h02WvVg9Q7P3aCTBnmwg5UXxIAl1ngJ20mMqu6VpQ4FgHyZrb6U_nSSvc_5oCqOPNY2nhcBId1U1AiaQI_2xIjZCN3Xs2TW04kiHC2wXf5pD2IMtowfRc4x5L7/s640/blogger-image--563008472.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><br /></a>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Injections are hard work! Can't just press some buttons on my meter and away I go. No, I actually have to stop and take the time out to make sure I get insulin into my system.</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm much more mindful of what I eat when injecting - is that snack really worth the extra shot I'm going to have to take to cover it?</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That being said, on Friday I had pizza for dinner. Pizza on my pump? No problem! Multiwave bolus, and I manage to dodge the inevitable peak. Or at least stop it from peaking to high. Pizza on injections? Hello blood sugar of 15.4mmol when I woke up Saturday morning. (And I did two shots trying to stop the peak that way.)</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My cannula is a source of comfort. Over the last few days, I've found myself reaching for cannula sites, to find there is no cannula. And I've panicked, and then remembered that I've decided to be device-free. Feeling my cannula in place seems to provide a sense of comfort for me. Weird, I know, but we all have strange tendencies, right?!</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The dawn phenomenon struggle was real and frustrating. </span></li>
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<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I forgot how much I enjoyed using the phrase "shoot up". You just don't say it when using a pump.</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Although I was itching to get my pump back on, I was not looking forward to sharing my bed with it. That was the one thing I loved about my pump break - not rolling over and having my pump dig in or having to fish it out of the duvet cover in the mornings. </span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm a micro-corrector. A micro-doser too, for that matter. On my pump, I could, and would, micro-correct a blood sugar of 10. And I could micro-dose insulin to cover my morning coffee. But to do that on injections is near enough impossible. I can dose and correct in increments of 0.5. That, and is 10 a high enough blood sugar level to want to correct it with another injection?!</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Temp basal is one of the best things ever. I can't remember the last time I actually used a temp basal, but suddenly, when I don't have the option to use it, all I want to do is use it. </span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In short, I have a new-found appreciation for my pump, and welcomed its' attachment back on my body with open arms this morning! I've also proved to myself that I can revert back to injections with no real difficulties. My pump isn't permanent, and now I have the confidence to go back to injections, on a whim. Constantly wearing a medical device had taken its' toll on my mind, and taking a break from it has given me the time to get myself in the right place to start wearing it again. This morning, I felt ready to suit up once more. So I did.</span></li>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-73271946479349388712015-06-10T22:22:00.002+01:002015-06-10T22:22:58.498+01:00A Break Up, Of Sorts.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/pumping-saline.html">Friday, June 5th, marked one year with my insulin pump</a>. (Where has that year gone?! Seriously?!) Now, I love my insulin pump: it's smart enough that it almost mimics what my pancreas should do, it offers me more flexibility; there are a lot of pros to wearing it and using it to manage my diabetes. There's no way, at this point, that I'd ever give it back. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That being said...I do want to temporarily break up. Only for a few days, a week at most. Because as much as I love using my pump to manage my diabetes, wearing it, owning it, feeling comfortable with it, using it to it's fullest potential, is something I'm just not doing so well with at the moment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm sick of sharing my bed with it, for one. I roll over and lay on it, it gets caught in the duvet cover and sometimes goes sky diving off my bed, tugging at where-ever my cannula is that morning. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And trying to figure out how to work it in with an outfit is beginning to annoy me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And I'm not making use of the different types of bolus I can use. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I think I'm just done with being constantly connected to it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, a temporary break up it is. As of yesterday morning, I welcomed back my trusty Novopen, and took a shot of Levemir to be my background insulin for the day, and packed some syringes to draw insulin up from my Novorapid vial. It did feel strange not having my insulin pump attached, but for the first time since I got it, I felt free. No device attached. I also felt like everyone would notice (a silly thought, given I hide my insulin pump!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I felt like I'd got lazy with my insulin pump, a little too complacent. I was hoping that coming off it would remind me (again) just how smart my insulin pump is, and how much flexibility it offers me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the ever so eloquent words of <a href="http://www.thetangerinediabetic.blogspot.co.uk/">Dave</a>, "giving myself a kick up the arse".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I'm happy to say it's working. </span></div>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-76165261599090394332015-06-01T11:30:00.000+01:002015-06-01T11:30:01.245+01:00"Conceal, Don't Feel, Don't Let Them Know."<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe it's just me, but I feel the need to hide my bad diabetes days from those around me. Maybe it's pride? Not wanting to admit weakness? Not wanting to be seen as weak? Or just different from those around me? All of the aforementioned? More than likely.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here on this blog, I will write about my bad days. And my good days, for that matter. I feel comfortable doing that here. You're more than likely reading this because you "get" diabetes. Whether you live with it, you're the carer for someone who lives with it, or someone you love has it, you have a level of understanding. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/back-up.html">Those I work with know I have type one diabetes</a>. They know I wear an insulin pump. And they know where to find my medical notes and emergency contact details (a document I drew up myself, and keep in a sealed envelope in my desk drawer). They know about low blood sugars and high blood sugars. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For the last few months, as you may have gathered from <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/ball-dropped.html">previous</a> blog <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/self-care.html">posts</a>, "high" would be a very good description of where my blood sugar's been at. For me, highs aren't as noticeable as lows. It was easy to plod along and pretend I had my shit together. Telling my manager that I needed to go back to see my consultant four weeks after my last appointment was hard ("You're really good at pretending you've got your shit together!" he said. "Thank you," I replied with smile. "Wasn't meant to be a compliment." Of course, I knew that). I felt like I was admitting defeat, that I couldn't deal with my diabetes on my own. And I know that if it were someone else in my situation, I would tell them to stop being stupid, it's not weakness, etc, etc. But walking my talk has never been something I'm good at. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Over the past three weeks, I've put a lot of effort into basal testing, checking my insulin to carb ratios, correction factors, the lot. My blood sugars are starting to come down, which has been an interesting adjustment - running high for as long as I have done means I feel hypo at 6mmol. This has also meant that when I have actually been hypo, I've been hit with every hypo symptom: shaking, sweating, no coordination, lack of speech, double vision (manager with two heads, anyone?!) and, my least favourite of all, crying. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Painted you a lovely picture there, haven't I?!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's these "low moments" when I do everything in my power to hide what's going on.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6hd9sGfjAb_Ez-7N1NHstvnFDDagDE_QElc23d7vGGQZzzntAl4Qfq548G9Fz9GtpjqEYWZC5M9Q_BsXFlCGT2VsTyo8vMynS7k5AJzTdd2ie0BfYy4o66jz4r21pp9eCnw6hgPAL00rC/s640/blogger-image--1580968380.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6hd9sGfjAb_Ez-7N1NHstvnFDDagDE_QElc23d7vGGQZzzntAl4Qfq548G9Fz9GtpjqEYWZC5M9Q_BsXFlCGT2VsTyo8vMynS7k5AJzTdd2ie0BfYy4o66jz4r21pp9eCnw6hgPAL00rC/s320/blogger-image--1580968380.jpg" width="218" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Type-1-Diabetes-Memes/293178187408030?fref=ts"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>Source.</i></span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Get through the meeting, then treat the hypo. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Finish responding to my emails, then treat the hypo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Finish my conversation, then treat the hypo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Finish [enter other random tasks here], then treat the hypo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was after a conference call that my manager (getting ever so more observant) approached me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Are you okay?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Yes," I nodded, not trusting myself to string a full sentence together.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Do you want to try that again?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I'm fine," I replied, proud of my two word sentence and use of a contraction in my hypo state.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"You ought to trademark that response. It's you're go-to," and he handed me a bottle of lucozade.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With shakey hands, I picked the bottle up. The lid had already been unscrewed, and I counted six gulps and waited for my blood sugar to come back up, my manager now sat the opposite side of my desk. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As my blood sugar came up and my mind began focussing on other things, and not my low, I looked at my manager. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Thank you," I whispered.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"You need to start trusting us, Vicki. We're not going to look at you any differently if you need to leave to sort your diabetes. I'm not going to sit here are pretend I know what you go through on a day-to-day basis, because I don't. What I do know, however, is that you're not putting yourself first some of the time. Start doing that, okay? And know my door's always open if you need or want to talk. Is your blood sugar back up now?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I think so. I'll just check. You no longer have two heads, so progress!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"You're forming full sentences too. Progress again."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I laughed. "I'm sorry. Put me first. Got it."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As much as I enjoy my job (most of the time, anyway), and want to prove myself and further my career, not putting my health first isn't going to help me achieve anything. <a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/balance.html">No negelecting of me, by me</a>. It's one of many balancing acts I'm working on. </span></div>
Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-81898922681676213052015-05-26T10:00:00.000+01:002015-05-26T10:00:03.436+01:00Dealing With Diabetes (Written By PWDs).<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A little while back, I received an email from a <a href="https://mobile.twitter.com/VCP_Joe">guy named Joe</a>. He works for a company called <a href="http://www.vouchercodespro.co.uk/">Voucher Codes Pro</a>, and was writing an article about dealing with diabetes to be published on their site. I was asked to contribute something, which I did (<a href="http://vickisnotebook.blogspot.co.uk/p/disclosure.html">disclosures and all that</a>). And I'm sharing it here with you because I think it's a great piece that Joe has put together.</span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I'm Joe, I'm 26, and a type 1 diabetic, and part of the content team here at Voucher Codes Pro. Not the smoothest opening line to your possible future wife, is it? I was diagnosed at the ripe old age of 18 when I was about to venture into the world of booze, university and relationships. Thanks to a pancreas that was more interested in taking a permanent holiday than producing the insulin my body so badly needed, I knew I had a battle on my hands."</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To read the rest of his article, please <a href="http://www.vouchercodespro.co.uk/diabetes">click here</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And, thank you, Joe, for asking me to contribute! </span></div>
Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-86728716725329241272015-05-25T21:28:00.002+01:002015-05-25T21:28:49.616+01:00Diabetes Blog Week: Day 7 - Continuing Connections.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpWs5cP8jCUDfpiC7LcN0e93-R5Eff_5_bgFIxJawcUWc7TEwttoDkcAmhtzkqWyuFaDcyggKt7WI4KIR4JVB9fwA97cgcnWQ69-maIybTFUJXgS_3BCGkKWxFofLRgTzg0xuzuH3Tx8FN/s1600/dblog+weekk+15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="76" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpWs5cP8jCUDfpiC7LcN0e93-R5Eff_5_bgFIxJawcUWc7TEwttoDkcAmhtzkqWyuFaDcyggKt7WI4KIR4JVB9fwA97cgcnWQ69-maIybTFUJXgS_3BCGkKWxFofLRgTzg0xuzuH3Tx8FN/s640/dblog+weekk+15.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.600000381469727px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And I've caught up...finally! Diabetes Blog Week (plus a week and a day), it's been fun! The biggest of thank yous to <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/">Karen of Bitter-Sweet Diabetes</a> for organising this once again, and bringing the community together.</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.600000381469727px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>* * * * * *</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.600000381469727px;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.600000381469727px;"><i>The very first inspiration for Diabetes Blog Week was to help connect our blogging community, and that continues to be the most important reason it's held every year. So let's help foster and continue those connections as we wrap up another Dblog Week. Share a link to a new blog you've found or a new friend you've made. Or pick a random blog off of the Participant's List, check it out and share it with us. Let's take some time today to make new friends.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.600000381469727px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Like last year, I'm kind of gonna cop out of this one. I'm crap when it comes to picking just one blog, so here are a list of links!</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://verylightnosugar.com/2015/05/11/i-can-because-someone-believed-that-i-could/">"I can because somebody believed I could"</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.thediabeticscornerbooth.com/2015/05/because-i-believe-and-my-coffee-mug.html">"Because I believe, and my coffee mug says so".</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.coffeeandinsulin.com/2015/05/i-can-i-can-i-can/">"I can always see, feel, live a full life beyond my chronic illness".</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.ninjabetic.com/thebadblog/2015/5/11/diabetes-blog-week-day-1-i-can.html">"Having diabetes did not make these things possible but spark the flame that brought these things to light"</a> - beautifully worded by George.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://teapot8909-diabetic.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/i-can-can.html">"All I had running through my head was 'I can't'. Meeting John made me break through at and turn it into 'I can'".</a> - and I couldn't be happier for Emma. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.below-seven.com/2015/05/11/2015-diabetes-blog-week-day-1-i-can/">"Despite diabetes, I was able to have a healthy, happy baby boy"</a> (and he is too cute for words!)</span></li>
<li><a href="https://lazypancreas.wordpress.com/2015/05/12/keep-it-to-yourself/"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"...diabetes is an intensely personal but also deeply relatable, and ultimately human subject. I share what will make a difference and leave the rest for me".</span></a></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://sixuntilme.com/wp/2015/05/12/diabetes-blog-week-quiet-parts/">"Regardless of how much or how little you share, your voice is important, and our community flourishes as a result."</a> - a reminder from Kerri that our voices matter.</span></li>
<li><a href="https://rollinginthed.wordpress.com/2015/05/12/dblogweek-15-day-2-feeling-secretive/"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"You will never hear/read me discuss my deepest, darkest, recurring feelings about diabetes."</span></a></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://circles-of-blue.winchcombe.org/index.php/2015/05/12/clean-it-out-diabetes-blog-week-day-3/">"I know this. But I feel this."</a> - last Diabetes Blog Week, there was a <a href="http://circles-of-blue.winchcombe.org/index.php/2014/05/13/dblogweek2014-poetry-tuesday-a-childhood-all-gone/">post</a> written by Kev that made me cry. This year, it was this one.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://diabetogenic.wordpress.com/2015/05/13/letting-go/">"You see, it is time to let go." </a>- heartbreakingly beautiful. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://lazypancreas.wordpress.com/2015/05/14/change/">"I want my own feeling surrounding my diabetes to change"</a> - this post definitely resonated with me. </span></li>
<li><a href="http://happy-medium.net/2015/05/14/dblogweek-day-4-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes/"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I would like to see all People With Diabetes empowered enough to take charge of their diabetes, advocating for the drugs, treatments acceptance and support they need and deserve"</span></a></li>
<li><a href="http://notmycellphone.com/2015/05/14/dblog-week-4-standing-the-test-of-time/"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"While on some level people's perceptions play a part of things, I think in myself some changes need to be made"</span></a></li>
<li><a href="http://t1international.com/insulin-access/dblogweek-day-4-changes/"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Change starts today".</span></a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/2015/05/foods-on-friday-dblogweek-day-5.html"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The good, the bad, the ugly.</span></a></li>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Happy reading!</span></div>
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1179566066629944665.post-56012523310474426862015-05-24T12:21:00.000+01:002015-05-24T12:21:16.010+01:00Diabetes Blog Week: Day 6 - Favourites And Motivations.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw2P-GLvfceiXtGXdm8N8wA1NkeIbopXjJDnxy3tw_23khrLrvoWzrUWyb9b8ZdE3YW7HlbmW4EVNtEU6iHZY1BNgHK8vY1TcVxDcFFLogz8TGmVQDlFIw2G_CgZESGs-05i4cAKmHTeU9/s1600/dblog+weekk+15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="76" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw2P-GLvfceiXtGXdm8N8wA1NkeIbopXjJDnxy3tw_23khrLrvoWzrUWyb9b8ZdE3YW7HlbmW4EVNtEU6iHZY1BNgHK8vY1TcVxDcFFLogz8TGmVQDlFIw2G_CgZESGs-05i4cAKmHTeU9/s640/dblog+weekk+15.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Still playing catch up...</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">* * * * * *</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">If you have been blogging for a while, what is your favourite sentence or blog post you have ever written? Is it diabetes related or just life related? If you are a new blogger, and don't have a favourite yet, tell us what motivated you to start sharing your story by writing a blog.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was weird going back through old blog posts, and interesting to read just how much things have changed since I first started this blog: where I'm at in my personal life, where my health is at, how my writing has changed and what I use this blog for. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My motivations for blogging are often changing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">More often than not, it's to clear my head (diabetes therapy!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sometimes it's to share information.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or tell a story. Celebrate an achievement. Vent after a bad day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And sometimes it's because I just want to. Sounds a little silly, right? Wanting to blog about life with diabetes and share with the Internet? I enjoy writing. And I'm proud of this little corner of the Internet. This is my platform to connect with others. I've made friends as a result of this blog. And, emotionally, I'm much better off for having it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To read more posts for day six of Diabetes Blog Week, <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dblogweek&postid=30Apr2015e">click here</a>.</span><br />
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Vickihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02570091630936369243noreply@blogger.com2