Saturday, 16 February 2013

Remembering The Good.

Group Lizzie and I started.
In my first post here, I mentioned that I have mixed feelings when it comes to diabetes: there are times I hate it, but then I remember everything I've gained from it, and that leaves me feeling confused about how I should feel about it all. This has always been one of downfalls: remaining grounded and remembering the good when diabetes gets difficult.

When diabetes gets difficult, I start wishing for my old life. The one where I didn't have to carb count and time my meals, prick my finger numerous times a day to make sure my bloods are in check, treat hypos, correct hypers. Being diagnosed at 17 means I still remember not having to care. I had the luxury of being able to do what I wanted when I wanted. At times like these, diabetes wins, because I let those thoughts take over and I let my diabetes control go completely. It doesn't just slip, it 100% goes to shit. 

What I actually need to do is stop letting diabetes win. Because when I actually sit down and think properly about it, more good has come of me having diabetes than bad. Yes, I have to do injections and sugar test and count my carbs. But I've also entered into this "other world" where I have had the opportunity to meet so many new people. When I was first diagnosed, I knew no other diabetics. No one in my family had diabetes, none of my friends knew anyone with diabetes. I felt so alone, so I sought out online support. I first joined the Diabetes Support forum, and from there I was introduced to Circle D. It was also through the forum that I met, whom I like to refer to as my diabetic best friend, Lizzie. Both being at university meant we had similar experiences and needed advice on many of the same topics! Realising how much we relied onto each other, we went on to start up some online support for students called Student Diabetics UK, where, once again, I have had the opportunity to get to know so many other students, and hopefully we'll be able to have our first meet over the summer (Lizzie, are you reading this?! Let's make this happen!)

See! So much good has come of my diabetes. Yet I fail to hold onto that! So I'm writing it here, in the hope that when shit hits the fan again (which it will), I'll be able to look at this and be reminded of all the good I've experienced over the last three years or so. 

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