Tuesday, 5 March 2013

The Future.

Where will I be in 5 years?
The future isn't something I like to think about. I like my life as it is, and I don't want things to change anytime soon. Today, my Nan, Aunt and Uncle arrived in Alcalá, and they're here visiting me for a few days. I met them after teaching and took them for lunch and coffee whilst we waited for the Spanish siesta to finish in order to go and do all the tourist things round Alcalá. Whilst I was happily sat there drinking my decaf coffee and eating a muffin, I was asked the million dollar question that has been playing on my mind recently: what are my plans when I finish uni?

I haven't got a clue! But the time has come, it seems, to start seriously thinking about coming up with some kind of plan as to where I want my life to go after uni. Anyone that knows me knows that I don't do future planning. I can just about think about the next two months, if that! I'm quite relaxed and just take things as they come. However, graduating from university is a big deal, and, as much as I hate to admit it, I need a life plan. Well, a plan for at least the first few years after uni, anyway! It's just for someone like me, who doesn't really plan for anything, it's quite a scary thing to contemplate!

It's strange: three years ago, I had life plans. I knew exactly what I wanted and how I was going to realise my goals. I had job plans, knew I wanted to get married, have kids, the works: I used my head, followed my heart, and nothing could get in my way. Then diabetes came along, and something changed. I don't know what it was exactly, but something did. I stopped following my heart, started over thinking everything, and just stopped thinking big. I learnt that things aren't always going to go your way. I mean, it's not that I was naive and thought life was going to be easy, but at 17 I wasn't exactly expecting the diagnosis of a chronic illness like diabetes either!

Over the last three years, I have accomplished a lot, things I didn't think were possible back when I was diagnosed. I passed my A Levels for a start, and got into UEA, where I have had the most amazing time, and have made some life-long friends. I started SDUK with Lizzie, and although still small, a huge achievement that has helped a lot of people. I've moved abroad and lived in two different countries. Okay, none of these have been easy to achieve, but they are achievements nonetheless, and it's because of these success stories that I find myself wanting to "dream big" again. Start following my heart a bit more (whilst still using my head, of course!) Create a version of the future I wanted when I was 17, because at 20, things are a little different now! Nonetheless, it is definitely time to start trying to think big again, and stop being afraid.  

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