Sunday, 19 January 2014

Pity Party.

This past weekend has been a "pity party" weekend - not quite at the "diabetes burnout" stage, but getting near to it.

I spent all day yesterday trying to figure out why, and came up empty, until yesterday evening, when I had a theory.

What an actual party looks like - not a pity party!
This time last year was when everything went downhill. I was still living in Toulouse. Although, I use the term "living" loosely, as I was actually homeless at this point. I was staying at a hotel, ready to fly out to Madrid the next day (January 21st, 2013). I'd lost my routine, I wasn't eating regularly, I'd started skipping injections, and I was in another country, with my closest friends being in the UK, USA and Hong Kong. Not a great situation to find yourself in.

Everything kind of spiralled, and before I knew it I'd lost control. 

February, 11th, 2013, I started this blog. Since that date, I can say, hand on heart, I haven't omitted insulin, and I'm incredibly proud of that. I also haven't had a "pity party" or really gone through "diabetes burnout", so I think this has been a long time coming. 

I threw myself into blogging, and I'm so glad I did. This really has become my therapy. I also took the plunge into the Twitter-based diabetes online community, where I was welcomed with open arms, and have got to "know" so many great people! I kept myself as involved as possible, to keep my motivational levels high. And it worked, it did. This community is great for that, I promise. I just thought it was time for a "pity party". I think they're healthy, and in the past, for me, they've helped fight off full-on "diabetes burnout" which I personally find a lot harder to come back from.

So this past weekend, I ate crap (but still bolused for it) and had a duvet day and felt sorry for myself.

Today, I'm going to get my arse in gear, remember that this feeling will pass, and remind myself that the reason I check my blood sugar, take my insulin, count my carbs and everything else is so I remain healthy to enjoy moments such as this. And this. And this

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