I love my insulin pump, I do. I know it's still early days, but I'm still in awe of just how smart this piece of technology is.
However, I'm also frustrated, and I put this down to not understanding how the pump works. I know how to use it: I can bolus and set a temporary basal rate (TBR - insulin pump therapy means more jargon), and I know how to change my basal rates, in that I can put the new numbers onto the pump. But I don't understand how or why I'm changing them.
I phoned my DSN yesterday, as I'm waking up low a lot, and having real problems with afternoon and evening highs. I was pretty certain it was the basal that needed changing (although I could have been very wrong there), and I told her that. She agreed, and said a load of numbers and I input them into the pump. Fine. Fingers crossed it works. But I don't know why I changed them or how she came to the numbers she came to.
Like I said at the beginning of this post, it's early days, and I by no means expect to be a pump expert at this point, but I want to understand why changes are being made so that I can apply this to blood sugars and changes I may want to make in the future. That, and I've been asked to do over night testing and a basal test between 12pm and 6pm, which was expected, but when my nurse turned round and said "and I'll call you Thursday for the results", well, I could have cried. Sounds stupid, I know, but I feel like, right now, I'm revolving my life around this new device, but what I want is for this insulin pump to fit in with me and my life.
It's a learning curve, one that I knew wouldn't be easy. I guess I just miss that feeling of being "comfortable" with my diabetes management - right now I don't, and that's not something I'm okay with.
I love my pump, but I miss the "comfort" of injections, and I'll be grateful when this feeling passes.