Graduated.

Diabetes Online Community, I've missed you!

It's been a busy week, one that's ended in me being able to say I am a university graduate!

I'm still on a Grad-Week-high and wish I could do the whole week again, but I don't think my body would thank me for that!

I'm sad that my uni-life is over, but I'm excited for what comes next, as well as a little bit apprehensive, seeing as I have no real plan. I've never really been a fan of the unknown.

In the meantime, the plan is to somewhat detox (she says with a bottle of red wine and prosecco on the side), catch up with the DOC, and carry on applying for jobs, in the hope that something comes up soon.

Fingers crossed! 

Ketchup.

Image taken from Google Images.

You'd think finishing my degree would leave me with more time to write! Clearly, not the case for me! Between celebrating with the girls on my course, starting on my insulin (saline) pump and everyone finishing (so more celebrating), I honestly haven't had the time to sit down and write what I want.

This week, however, things will change. Just, unfortunately not today! (Sorry!)

So, instead, a "ketchup" of what's been going on and what to expect over the next week or so:

I finished my degree!

Such a great feeling. I really hope I've done enough to graduate with my class. 

I started on my insulin pump.

On Thursday, I made my way to a community centre, pump in hand, ready to begin my "pump training". It was a long day, with lots of information thrown my way, so I'm relieved that for this first weekend the pump has only been giving me saline. Tomorrow morning, I have an appointment at my diabetes clinic and I will start on insulin. Expect a blog post this week covering both pump training and starting on insulin (which happened today!)

Friends that aren't on my course finally finished their degrees!

And we celebrated with a night out at a local cocktail bar, along with the girls on my course. It was a good night :-) 

It's Diabetes Week 2014!

Diabetes Week 2014 is upon us and the theme this year is "I Can". Again, expect a blog post later this week. In the meantime, you can check out JDRF's Blood Sugar Selfie, Type 1 Uncut on Youtube and the Diabetes UK website for more information. 

Finished.

Today, I finished my degree and celebrated with the fabulous girls pictured above, who also finished today.

So happy!

Just wish I knew what the eff comes next!

Health Heroes.

When I was asked if I wanted to nominate someone for the Boots UK Health Hero Awards (information at the end of this post, and disclosure information here), I really didn't have to think for long about who I would put forward. In fact, it was one of the easiest decisions I've made (and I'm an indecisive person!) and I hope you'll see why by the end of this post.

I met her when I moved into student accommodation in my first year of university (September 2010). Turns out we were to be flatmates. She introduced herself using her first name. I don't think I've called her by said first name since September 2010! I opted for the name "Shep" very early on, and that's the only name I use for her on this blog. 

I was diagnosed with type one diabetes six months prior to starting uni, and as you can probably imagine, my Mum was terrified of leaving me there. She made sure that those I would be living with were made aware of my condition. I was kind of hoping I'd have the chance to tell them my name before I mentioned the fact that I was harbouring a non-functioning pancreas, but Mum's stern utterance of "TELL THEM!" whilst we were all sat at the kitchen table meant that some of them knew of my diabetes before they knew my name was 'Vicki'. 

Over the course of the first couple of weeks, many a question was asked about my diabetes: "Does it hurt when you do that?" "So does that mean you can't eat...?" "Hey, can I check my blood sugar?!" But the questions Shep asked were different. It was more "What does that number mean?" "Why do you weigh your food before you cook it?" "What's the difference between this orange pen [my NovoRapid at the time] and the green on [my Levemir at the time]?" When this was happening, what she was doing didn't click. But when I look back, I realise that she was learning all that she could...and when we were both on a par when it came to diabetes-knowledge, she learnt with me.

After Christmas break of our first year, we started cooking dinners together. She knew that I weighed out my portion sizes when I was cooking for myself, so she did this when she was cooking for me too, and she'd tell me what she'd done, for me to then carb count. A month down the line into this new routine, and I came home late from uni one day to a bowl of dinner in the fridge with a post-it note on it. She's not only weighed out the food, but she'd worked out the carbs. I'm almost certain I cried a little bit. It was a small gesture, but one that meant a great deal. Since then, we've always joked that the way to my heart is through my pancreas. 

My first diabetes anniversary was courtesy of her and another flatmate, Lopez. We had dinner. We dressed nicely. And we went out. It's one of my most memorable nights at uni.

After my first year of uni, I went through a huge bout of diabetes burnout. I stopped taking my insulin injections, and was just in a really bad place. Shep was one of the first people I told. I was expecting her to shout. Maybe hit me. Tell me I was an idiot. She did do all those things. But she hugged me tight first. Then let rip. It was what I needed. 

December 2011 (so in our second year of uni), I had my first experience of DKA. I don't remember much of the night, but I do know that Shep was a real-life superhero that night. For the first couple of nights after, I slept in her room. That experience shook me to the core.

We both did a year abroad for our third year at university. Halfway through the year, I was omitting my insulin again. She was the first person I told. I started this blog around the same time. Again, she was the first person I told. Even though she was in Alabama and I was in Spain, she supported me as best she could. 

We moved back in together for our final year, along with a few other friends. She still carb counts my meals when she cooks, or will leave the packets/wrappers at my place at the table for me to read the labels. She's handled many a low blood sugar, and panicked with me when my blood sugar's high and refusing to budge (after the aforementioned DKA experience, we both panic!) She'll join me in my pity parties, and is the first to offer words of encouragement when I've just had enough with this disease. And she didn't get mad when I went running up to her room, banged on the door (and subsequently woke her up) because my letter had arrived telling me my insulin pump was due to be delivered!

She's not just one of my best friends, she's extended family to me. And I kid you not when I say that 90% of this Buzzfeed list applies to us.

This is why I'm nominating her.

Who would you nominate and why?

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Boots UK, in partnership with the Daily Mail and This Morning, has launched the 2014 Health Hero Awards. The Awards celebrate heroes of healthcare - the thousands of people who make a difference to our lives every day. You can nominate anyone you want, from a best friend who has supported you through a tough period of ill-health or your family doctor. Each of the five finalists will receive an all-expenses paid VIP trip to London, staying at a top hotel, with tickets to the Health Hero Awards Gala Dinner. The Health Hero that's made the biggest difference to someone's life will be announced at the celebrity gala dinner and they'll receive a well-deserved family holiday up to the value of £5,000. To nominate your health hero, you need to visit www.boots.com/healthheroes or pick up a leaflet from a Boots UK store. Nominations close Tuesday, May 20th, 2014. 

And, Shep, if by some miracle you actually go ahead and win this, can I please remind you that you have said before that you consider me family, and I therefore would like to be included in the family holiday prize. Please and thank you ;-)      

Celebrating.

Last Friday evening, I went to the LCS Ball, an event for all the final year students on my course. I'd been looking forward to this since I bought my ticket for the event back in February. I bought a new dress and even wore heels on the night. (For those of you reading this that know me, I seldom wear heels. I'm all about the comfy flat shoes.) 

Now, this event included a three-course dinner. Awesome. I ordered my food at the same time as I bought my ticket. Tomato and pepper soup to start followed by a spinach and goat's cheese tart with new potatoes and salad and the cheesecake for pudding. 

First off, I needed to work out how to bolus for this: do I bolus after each course? Take a starting bolus and then take the remainder after the meal? Where do I bolus? My left arm is still a no-go site because of my BCG, so I have my right arm and both legs. Then there's my levemir that I need to take at 9.30pm as well.

Then there was the actual debacle of carb counting the dinner to take the correct dose of insulin. I'm comfortable carb counting when I have my kitchen scales or nutritional labels to read from. I often use my carbs and cals app when I'm out, providing there is wifi. But working from nothing? I'm incredibly uncomfortable with that. (Something I've now realised I need to work on.) 

So, I decided on taking a starting bolus of 10 units with my soup, theory being that the soup would be realatively low carb anyway, providing I passed on the bread. I then proceeded to photograph each course and send it to my housemate via whatsapp. She very kindly agreed to look through my carbs and cals book to provide me with carbohydrate guesses for my meal. This isn't something I would usually ask, but given that this event was the last with my coursemates (apart from graduation), I really didn't want to stressing about how much insulin I needed. 

And I'm glad I did, as my post-meal blood sugar clocked in at 7.4mmol! Shep, I owe you big time! 

I obviously kept a close eye on my blood sugar throughout the night, as I was drinking, but knowing it didn't look like I was going to be battling a post-meal high blood sugar meant I could enjoy the rest of my night.

And that's exactly what I did.     

Burnt Out!

Re-visiting somewhere I used to live.

And not the diabetes kind! Right now, I've got university burnout. Not what you need when you still have deadlines. 

I have just over two weeks left until I finish this final semester. Then, all I have between then and graduation are two exams. June 2nd, I'll have finished my degree. That's scarily soon, but when you have university burnout, it also seems so far away! It's also having an affect on my diabetes: I'm so stressed and tired right now and I can see my blood sugars creeping up. I'm looking forward to reeling that control back in when I'm done.

I'm heading back to Kent this weekend for my Dad's 50th, and I'm really hoping it gives me the break I'm looking for to then hit the ground running when I arrive back in Norwich on Monday. I have lots planned for when I'm back, including a day with my godson, dinner with E.Hales and my sister and then family time on the Sunday for my Dad's birthday. I'm also really hoping Mumma cooks a roast dinner too! 

No uni work. No dissertation stuff. No applications for life after graduation. Just a weekend to chill before I get going again. 

Two more weeks (ish) until the end of the semester and then I can really set aside time to fill back up, in all aspects of my life. It can't come round quick enough.   

My Final Semester.

Oh. My. God. 

I can remember starting uni so vividly. Scared, nervous but incredibly excited all at the same time. I remember meeting my flat mates and my Mum freaking out about leaving me and my diabetes with these "strangers" a mere six months after diagnosis ("TELL THEM!" she told me!) Little did she know, these "strangers" would not only become some of my best friends, but also my family too. And know far more about diabetes than she does!

Now, here I am, on the first day of my last semester at uni. As an undergraduate, at least, anyway. I've spent this past weekend preparing - buying paper, pens, folders and other appropriate stationary items, doing dissertation reading, checking my timetable, catching up on uni-related emails (which get 100% ignored during the holidays) and catching up with my housemates after the Christmas break. Normal student things. 

After this semester, however, I need a plan. Like a grown-up plan. I'm talking job, finances, a grown-up place to live (because let's face it, student houses aren't where it's at). I've applied for a few grad schemes, but until I know whether or not I've been successful, I can't really make any solid plans, which terrifies me. I hate not knowing. But I'm also excited. I can finally find out the answer to one of the questions I've always asked myself:

What do real adults even do?!

According to a friend, the answer is as follows:

"As far as I can tell, they attempt to get jobs, become boring effs and never go out or do anything that might come close to making the most out of life. Cool kids get away, travel and live their lives."

I'm not certain which category I'm going to fall into yet, but I've promised myself I will make the most out of which ever situation I find myself in. 

At this stage, that's all I can do.

But, for now? Final semester: let's do this!  

Guest Post: That One Time She Was In DKA.

Shep & I - November 2013.

Today, I'm going to try something different. This post is written by my housemate, Shep. She's a Law and American Law student at the same university as me and we've lived together since our first year (despite year abroad, of course). Her connection to diabetes is me. This is her take on the night I ended up in diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA). It was almost two years ago now (December 2011), and I honestly don't remember all that much about what happened. But the little I do remember is enough for me to know that DKA is something I never want to experience again! Ever! I'd never really asked for the blanks to be filled in; what I remembered was bad enough! So, I give you "That One Time She Was In DKA: Shep's Perspective."

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Dear Donkey Kong [Editor's Note: Donkey Kong needs explaining! In short, when "briefing" my housemates about all things diabetes, I obviously covered DKA. Shep hears DK and associated that with Donkey Kong. For me, I don't care how they remember DKA is bad, as long as they do!]

I have lived with a diabetic for basically 3 years now. I try my best to understand as much as I can and if there is something I can do to share the burden I will do it, or at least try. I try to live it, but I can’t and never will be able to (even though I sometimes feel that I do… We were 4000 miles away for a year and I still bought diet lemonade, sugar free jelly, and had skittles in my bag for emergencies.) [Editor's Note: Real friend right there!]

But you, Donkey Kong, are the closest thing I have ever been to living it. To feeling it. I hate sympathy pains…

You effed up a lot of things and still to this day confuse and bewilder me. I don’t know why but you just one day decided you would rear your ugly head and it’s a night I will never forget. The same cannot be said for my friend. You took all the memories she had of that night, stole an evening’s worth of hours. 

This isn’t something I quite realised the gravity of until now. You paid a visit on the 13th of December 2011 and it wasn’t until this September (2013) that I even realised how little Vicki knew of that night. 

It was our housemate’s birthday and naturally we wanted to celebrate. J.Ban wanted to go to Vodka Revs, and we happily accompanied him. There was a large group of us all drinking and having fun. All was going well, J.Ban was having a good time, we were enjoying the drinks but then you showed up and messed everything up. 

I gotta hand it to you, though, you are one sneaky lil' bugger DK. You crept up with out anyone noticing. Vicki felt hyper. Then there were ketones. NovoRapid wasn’t so rapid and levels just kept effing going up. 

The night went on and levels just wouldn’t fall. By this point I wasn’t sure what was going on. Still didn’t expect you DK but I knew something was up. I had faith in Vicki but there are only so many fingers to prick and sites to shoot up in and I was certain we had hit the point of no return before we left Vodka Revs. But the real certainty happened on the way home and it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

I said that you stole memories of that night from Vicki and I think this is where it began. Stupid effing Monkey! I found out only recently that this is where the gaps started for her and this is where I fill in.

We got to the bridge, just me and Vicki as we were further ahead and others were somewhat drunk. We had all been drinking but in the cold I was sobering up a little bit. Vicki wasn’t. Obviously she wasn’t drunk and yet I have no other way to explain this. She swayed, she slurred, her eyes were slow and she didn’t seem cold. All of these things are out of character… Vicki doesn’t let herself get that drunk and I knew that it wasn’t that. I have seen her put away her fair share (more than that night) and be fine and dandy. This was something else. We waited for the others to catch up at the bottom of the bridge and Vicki was talking away to herself. It was odd man! DK you turned the world the wrong way round. When the others caught up I spoke to Fernandez and told her something was fucked up. She took one look at Vicki and was thinking what I was thinking.  

That is when it dawned on us that you had arrived. Donkey Kong had taken over……

Fernandez was on drunk watch and I was on DK watch and we walked home. We had decided that we would see what levels were when we got in. It was around a 15min walk from the bridge and that should make a dent…
  
It didn’t. 

We got in and Vicki went to the bathroom. The boys were drunk and FIFA was the most important thing. Which is probably a good thing as they would have freaked out at this point if they knew. Mind you I wasn’t as calm as I may have seemed. I had no idea how to handle Donkey Kong. I always joked about you but you were more terrifying than I thought.  

Now where was I, oh yes just got in… levels checked. Stupid pancreas – they had risen even more. So it was time for NHS direct. I called and Fernandez ran interference. I told them we’d been drinking but this wasn’t right. They told me to check some things.
1.       Cheeks are they hot? Yes 
2.       Is she conscious? Yes
3.       Is she coherent? Ermm…

They were keeping me on the line and I heard a whisper-shout of Shep. I went in and the bathroom door was locked. And we could hear retching. I tried to get in and couldn’t. Fernandez eventually got in but Vicki was barely conscious and had been sick. 

Time to call 999. This is why I hate you Donkey Kong. You made me have to call 999. Which was effing scary. I didn’t know what to say. Well I didn’t think I knew. But turns out I did.  

I told them she was type one. I thought it was DKA (managed not to say Donkey Kong [Editor's Note: Well done! 'Donkey Kong' is definitely not a recognised term amongt medical professionals!]). I retold what she had drunk. Eaten. When she had shot up [Editor's Note: Taken insulin]. I knew all the levels and ketone readings. I told them about NovoRapid, Levemir, everything she was on. I don’t know how but I just did it because I had to.  

Thankfully they told me I/we had done the right thing and they would be out with us asap. And they were prompt. At this point I was on the bathroom floor (still on the phone) and feeling like Vicki looked. See, sympathy pains are no fun thank you very much. They kept me on the phone in case anything changed. At some point between them sending the ambulance out and it arriving I gave Fernandez the phone and went to tell my boyfriend at the time that I was going to take a ride in an ambulance. He and my other housemates went outside to find the ambulance and flag it down.  

The paramedics came in and helped Vicki up. We helped her out and got into the back of the van with blue lights going (thankfully no siren). And we drove off… being waved off by the boys in the road giving us all the love we needed.  

We got to the end of the  road and the paramedic asked where her insulin pens were. 

Eff...How...Could...I...Forget...Insulin...

My response was – well it wasn’t working anyway. Jokes are the only way to get through shit like this [Editor's note: Agreed!] So we did a loop. I called Fernandez and she brought the pens from the fridge out to us. Which was good cause Vicki couldn’t even remember the stuff she was prescribed. I told the paramedics everything I could. Which turned out to be more than they needed. They didn’t seem to care when her D-Day was or that her hypo treatment is usually skittles. But I thought they might have needed to know.. and better too much. 

Vicki was laid down on the bed while me and the woman were in the back. Did you know that in the back of an ambulance you ride sideways if you’re a passenger? I didn’t. And I didn’t like it. The paramedic lady offered Vicki a cardboard sick bucket thing. She declined. But I wanted it.. I felt bloomin’ travel sick.  

So we arrived at the hospital and it was confirmed that you were there Donkey Kong. I had known for a while but now medical professionals had told me. Then there is a little bit of a blur in my knowledge. They took Vicki to a bay and I was sat on the chairs outside... I blanked. Because I actually had 5mins to sit and take it in rather than acting. But at least it wasn’t for long cause the doctor came out quickly and said I could go in. Vicki was in a similar situation .. she seemed to realise the ramifications of where she was.  

Though I’m not sure she was entirely back to earth… I say not sure… I was sure. Because this was when there was some more vomiting. But I think it was also stress related. 

The doctor only gave her one cardboard pan. Not enough. I got another of the table but it was still going… so I had to get another one. 

This was no easy feat. They were on the top of the effing cupboard. It was taller than me by about a foot. So I had to jump. I got about 6 of the buggers fall on me. Took them over to her but the tears were still coming… so what did I do? Wore a sick pan as a hat. Did a lil' dance. Cracked a few jokes. [Of all the things to remember of this night, I wish I could remember this!] I got a faint smile from Vicki. And a laugh chuckle from behind me as the freaking doctor had come back in (apparently they wanted to do half hour checks to see if she was going down).

Whatever they had given here she was doing better and level were down. It was nearly 5am at this point and Vicki was falling asleep. By this point I was on my second wind but the doctor took me outside after talking to the both of us and checking everything. He told me to go home and sleep. I tried to argue but I was mentally exhausted from your stupid antics, Donkey Kong …  

I called a taxi from the reception. Went outside and lit 4 cigarettes in a row and called Mama Shep. Yes at 5 am. I broke. My best friend was lying in a hospital bed with tubes in her and I had seen her at her worst (she had higher levels than her diagnosis so I think that label may be accurate.) I hadn’t had a chance to think and while I was waiting for the taxi the whole night replayed at super-speed through my head over and over. It seems stupid that I wasn’t blaming Donkey Kong but kinda myself. I was thinking did I order a drink that set it off? Did I not check if it was diet coke? Could I have done something? [Editor's note: No, no, and no! You and Fernandez were a superheroes that night!]
  
It doesn’t make sense maybe but it was 5am and I was a broken toy. So I called my Mummy. At 5am. Not the best daughter huh? [Editor's Note: Sorry Mama Shep!] She comforted me until I got in the taxi and promised to call me the next day (which she did and by that point I was fine..) I got home. Went for a short walk before getting into bed with the boyf and slept.

Image taken from Google Images.

Donkey Kong this is your fault and I will never forget all the stupid details of that night. Never. You make me so mad and I hate everything about you cause you hurt someone I love! 

So, please, stay away and don’t ever come back. [Editor's Note: I second this request!] You are mean to plumbers and diabetics and I think this should stop.

Yours Sincerely,


Shep.

3am.

Image taken from Google Images.

Recently, I've found that I've needed to set an alarm to check my blood sugar around 3am. Now, I don't really know what the norm is with regard to middle of the night checks, but my personal rule is if I have to snack before bed or take a correction dose, the alarm is set for 3am to make sure my blood sugars are holding steady. Please remember, I am not a medical professional, and this most definitely isn't medical advice!

I don't know why, but my bedtime blood sugars are so varied at the moment. Maybe it's stress? Maybe it's having a proper exercise routine? Maybe it's the foods I'm eating? As you can tell, I really can't pin-point an exact cause to the varied readings.

The point?! I need them to stop!

Don't get me wrong, broken sleep is a lot better than waking up in the middle of the night hypo, or in the morning with a high blood sugar, but still, the broken sleep is taking it's toll!

I'm just over halfway through my semester now, and I need to be on the ball. There are a lot of deadlines and speaking exams coming up and lack of sleep isn't going to help me get these things done. Done well, anyway. I also really want to stay on top of going to the gym. I can't say I enjoy going just yet, but I am noticing the benefits of it, so really want to keep up with that. It's also been a good stress reliever! 

It's at times like this where I really miss living in student accommodation! The Student Union should definitely consider nap rooms in the future! 

Work It Out.

Back at the start of October, I decided that I was going to start getting into a proper exercise routine. I'm very happy to say that I have actually managed to keep at this. I've changed what class I do, as I wanted to be exercising at the same time each time I go in order to spot blood sugar patterns. So, instead of the 'Power of 3' class I started out doing, I now do pilates and then just go to the gym. At present, I only go twice a week, but that's more due to timetable issues. Hopefully, next semester things will be a bit different. But what I'm doing now is a start! I can't say I'm enjoying going yet, but I am liking the benefits of going. Here's a list (I do love a good bullet point list):

Image taken from Google Images.

• Blood sugars - going to the gym has definitely led to more stable blood sugars. Excellent!
• More energy - I've never understood this one: how going to the gym/doing exercise in general leads to increased energy, but it really does!
• Sense of routine - getting up to go to the gym means I have a real sense of routine, something that I've learnt in the past is essential when it comes to my diabetes management. 
• I feel good - I'm grumpy as hell when my alarm goes off in the morning, especially on gym days where I get up a whole 20 minutes earlier (trust me, that 20 minutes makes a difference), I do feel good when I leave the gym.
• Sociable - I'm so incredibly busy with uni work for final year, but going to the gym means I get to see a couple of friends as we tend to go together. With that comes accountability - I'm far more inclined to go if I know people are expecting me to be there!

I still have some problems with post-gym hypos, but I knew it was going to take me a while to figure those out - it's nothing I wasn't expecting. Here's hoping I can keep it up as the wave of deadlines hit!

Busy Bee!

Such a busy weekend! On Thursday, I left uni to pay my family and friends a visit back home. Home. Such a loaded word. I refer to my uni town as home, my hometown as home, and I'm pretty sure when I was on year abroad, I also referred to both Toulouse and Alcalá as home! Don't really know where home is these days. But that's a whole other blog post!

Thursday was Halloween, so I went trick or treating with my chica, E.Hales, and my godson, Doodle. It was so much fun! Although, my godson hasn't quite grasped the concept of scary, so went round dressed as Woody from Toy Story. And of course I made sure I got a share of his sweet-stash! Halloween's definitely not just for kids!

On Friday, I spent a lot of the day with my Mum, which was lovely, and then I went for coffee and cake with another friend. Three hours later, we thought about leaving the coffee shop and heading home. Was great to see her: girl time, gossip, coffee, cake...what's not to love?!

Saturday was jam-packed! I went for lunch with E.Hales and Jones for Jones' birthday. We went to La Tasca which was amazinggggg! I felt like I was in Spain again eating Tapas! I loved it! Although, the art of calculating the perfect bolus for tapas seems to have been lost since my return to England, as my glucose levels were not what you would call good after. Food was soooo good though. And after sweets on Halloween, and cake on the Friday, it was safe to see the weekend was going to be a write-off when it came to glucose levels!

Saturday night, E.Hales, Doodle, my kid-brother and I went to a Firework Display which was awesome! I really missed going out for Bonfire Night when I was abroad! Doodle loved it - didn't jump once, got up and danced to the music, and attempted singing many of the songs! He melted the hearts of many, myself included!

Finally, on Sunday, I had a roast dinner, courtesy of my Mum and it was incredible! Roast dinner is without a doubt my favourite meal! And between all of this, I still managed to write an essay and do other bits of uni work. I don't know how, but I did!

This "mini-break" at home has been good for me. Not so great diabetes-wise, but I needed the change of scenery. Final year is hard-going, and coming back and seeing my family and friends has provided the light relief I needed. But now, it's back to good diabetes practises and hitting the books once more. I've got a degree to get! Not long until Christmas break now! 

Diabetes Disclosure.

I've never considered my diabetes to be a hindrance in my life. A pain in the butt, yes. A hindrance, no.

Yesterday, I went to an information evening about applying to do the PGCE course at my current university. Everything was going well until I had a chat with the admissions team regarding my diabetes. I've always been honest about my diabetes. It's not something I shout from the roof tops, but I also won't hide away in the toilets to do injections; it's not something I would mention on a job application, but if I get invited to an interview, it is something I then bring up (at the end of the interview, mind you!)

However, yesterday, I was made to feel that my diabetes may be an issue. 

"You have diabetes? What does that mean exactly?"

"I have type one diabetes. Basically, I have to check my blood sugar levels and I inject insulin when I eat. Sometimes I suffer from low blood sugar, sometimes I suffer from high blood sugar, but I just deal with it and get on with my day. Nothing stops as a result of it. It's just something that will need to be disclosed."

"Oh...you might want to talk with the Dean of Students to see if you'll be okay to do this course..."

Whatttt?! 

Yes, there are some jobs I can't do as a result of my diabetes. Teaching isn't one of them. Upset doesn't even begin to cover it, and I definitely regret my decision to even mention my diabetes.

I left the information evening just a bit peeved off, but so determined to prove to them people at admissions that I'd be perfectly capable of being a teacher with type one diabetes. I do it now, albeit only volunteering once a week. Diabetes has it's moments, don't get me wrong, but I know my body, and I know how to handle the highs and the lows quickly, and under the radar.

This whole situation has, however, made me reconsider how I'll approach diabetes disclosure in the future. What would you do?

Targets.

Image taken from Google Images.

Today, I had a catch up with my lovely DSN at my diabetes clinic (side-note - the hospital where my clinic is based now has a Costa Coffee! Happy days!) I got my hba1c checked - I like to know where I'm at - and we then discussed my current diabetes management regime and where changes need to be made between now and my upcoming "Pump Assessment Clinic":

1. Blood sugars and uni routine: I usually wake up between 5 - 6mmol/l, which is great. I have breakfast, I bolus accordingly and then two hours later I'm at 4mmol/l. So I eat to compensate this, without taking any insulin, and I'm still only at a 6mmol/l before lunch. In short, I have far too much insulin on board at breakfast. And at lunch too, sometimes. So, this insulin to carb ratio is going to be slowly reduced until I no longer eat for the sake of eating, and have glucose levels that are within range.

2. Carbohydrate counting: I suck. But it's something I need to get a lot better at before "Pump Assessment Clinic". This means back to referring to Carbs and Cals as opposed to guessing the carb content of food, weighing out my portions and seeing a dietitian over the coming months.

3. Using my glucose meter to it's full capacity: I have the Accu-Chek Aviva Expert, which comes with a "bolus advice" option. Except, I use the meter solely to check my blood glucose. Time to use it properly!

4. Getting properly into exercise and fitness - I finally took the plunge and went to my first exercise class the other week, and I enjoyed it. Time to get more into it and introduce it to my diabetes management, and general health, routine.

These are all targets I can work towards achieving, albeit slowly. Not only will they help towards my "Pump Assessment", but be good for my general health too. That makes it a win-win situation as far as I'm concerned.