To An Old Friend.

Dear Friend,

A little while ago, you sent me a message letting me know that you finally got a type one diabetes diagnosis. (I say finally because, although only there for part of the journey, I know it started in 2010/2011, and it was a long, old, road getting to where we are today. In 2017).

I'm not gonna lie, I didn't know what to say or do when I read your message. I mean, we hadn't really spoken in a few years. Nothing personal. I did my year abroad, and when I went back to uni, you'd already graduated and moved back home. Life happened. And now here we are.

I can't imagine how frustrating it's been for you. I remember that year we suspected pancreas-gone-rogue so clearly. I remember how hard we had to fight to be listened to. I remember worrying stupid amounts, and I remember the relief felt when someone did actually listen. And I remember the card with the cupcake on that I bought you, and I remember the message I wrote in it. I actually have the message here. Because I believe in writing drafts before you write essays in cards. It may not be the same, word for word, but I have what I planned on writing, at least.

I don't even know if you still have said card. Or even remember it. For you, it's more than likely a time you don't want to remember (I get it, I don't like thinking back to how ill I was pre-diagnosis). But for me, it's something I can't help but remember. It's ironic. I wished I had a friend with diabetes. Someone who got it. Yes, I had Lizzie, but at the time her and I hadn't met. I wished it, and then I was heartbroken that it happened.

I wrote in your card that I was sorry. I still am. As relieved as I am that you're finally getting the right support and medication, I am still so sorry that your pancreas stopped working.

I also wrote that it gets better. Oh, only-one-year-into-diabetes naivety. It does and it doesn't. You learn more, but there are still periods when diabetes messes with my headspace, and it's crap. But you learn how to cope. And you find whatever the hell it is that's gonna help get you back. For me, it's this tribe - Lizzie, Louise, Daisy, Karen and Max, my friend at work who also has type one. And my littlest friend. He has a way of making the crummiest of days wonderful. So find your tribe, love them hard.

Even now, six or seven years down the line, I still don't know what to say. I have no diabetes wisdom to impart, no inspirational message to give you. It sucks. Diabetes sucks. But you do what you gotta do to live the life you want to live.

You know where I am if you need anything.

Take care,

Vicki.

Easy.

Late last week, I went with my Dad to drop my sister back off at uni. We were talking about peer support, after my Mum was invited to an event for people living with her condition, polymyositis.

"It sounds really stupid," I began, "but the best thing I've ever done is get on a train to London and meet this girl called Lizzie. The rest, as they say, is history! You and Mum don't often see my bad diabetes days because I have this network of people I can turn too. Some I only know by name, others have become good friends, close friends, that I can't imagine not knowing. I think Mum could use that. The worst that happens is she goes and hates it. That's okay [no force-feeding of community is one of my rules]. On the other hand, it might be just what she, and you, need."

"I think you're right," my Dad said (he's a man of very few words), "so that's your secret to making diabetes look easy, huh? Friends with diabetes?"

"Yep! So simple, so effective! Because this disease is not easy, not in the slightest. And I would take a cure in a heartbeat. But, for me, community helps. Friends help. They've influenced who I am today and my attitude towards diabetes."

"If someone had asked me when you were diagnosed if you'd have coped, I honestly would have said no."

"I would have said no too," I laughed. "But it's not all my doing. I've had a lot of help and support from family and friends [and from the DOC as a whole] along the way."

And I will forever be grateful for that. 

Health Heroes.

When I was asked if I wanted to nominate someone for the Boots UK Health Hero Awards (information at the end of this post, and disclosure information here), I really didn't have to think for long about who I would put forward. In fact, it was one of the easiest decisions I've made (and I'm an indecisive person!) and I hope you'll see why by the end of this post.

I met her when I moved into student accommodation in my first year of university (September 2010). Turns out we were to be flatmates. She introduced herself using her first name. I don't think I've called her by said first name since September 2010! I opted for the name "Shep" very early on, and that's the only name I use for her on this blog. 

I was diagnosed with type one diabetes six months prior to starting uni, and as you can probably imagine, my Mum was terrified of leaving me there. She made sure that those I would be living with were made aware of my condition. I was kind of hoping I'd have the chance to tell them my name before I mentioned the fact that I was harbouring a non-functioning pancreas, but Mum's stern utterance of "TELL THEM!" whilst we were all sat at the kitchen table meant that some of them knew of my diabetes before they knew my name was 'Vicki'. 

Over the course of the first couple of weeks, many a question was asked about my diabetes: "Does it hurt when you do that?" "So does that mean you can't eat...?" "Hey, can I check my blood sugar?!" But the questions Shep asked were different. It was more "What does that number mean?" "Why do you weigh your food before you cook it?" "What's the difference between this orange pen [my NovoRapid at the time] and the green on [my Levemir at the time]?" When this was happening, what she was doing didn't click. But when I look back, I realise that she was learning all that she could...and when we were both on a par when it came to diabetes-knowledge, she learnt with me.

After Christmas break of our first year, we started cooking dinners together. She knew that I weighed out my portion sizes when I was cooking for myself, so she did this when she was cooking for me too, and she'd tell me what she'd done, for me to then carb count. A month down the line into this new routine, and I came home late from uni one day to a bowl of dinner in the fridge with a post-it note on it. She's not only weighed out the food, but she'd worked out the carbs. I'm almost certain I cried a little bit. It was a small gesture, but one that meant a great deal. Since then, we've always joked that the way to my heart is through my pancreas. 

My first diabetes anniversary was courtesy of her and another flatmate, Lopez. We had dinner. We dressed nicely. And we went out. It's one of my most memorable nights at uni.

After my first year of uni, I went through a huge bout of diabetes burnout. I stopped taking my insulin injections, and was just in a really bad place. Shep was one of the first people I told. I was expecting her to shout. Maybe hit me. Tell me I was an idiot. She did do all those things. But she hugged me tight first. Then let rip. It was what I needed. 

December 2011 (so in our second year of uni), I had my first experience of DKA. I don't remember much of the night, but I do know that Shep was a real-life superhero that night. For the first couple of nights after, I slept in her room. That experience shook me to the core.

We both did a year abroad for our third year at university. Halfway through the year, I was omitting my insulin again. She was the first person I told. I started this blog around the same time. Again, she was the first person I told. Even though she was in Alabama and I was in Spain, she supported me as best she could. 

We moved back in together for our final year, along with a few other friends. She still carb counts my meals when she cooks, or will leave the packets/wrappers at my place at the table for me to read the labels. She's handled many a low blood sugar, and panicked with me when my blood sugar's high and refusing to budge (after the aforementioned DKA experience, we both panic!) She'll join me in my pity parties, and is the first to offer words of encouragement when I've just had enough with this disease. And she didn't get mad when I went running up to her room, banged on the door (and subsequently woke her up) because my letter had arrived telling me my insulin pump was due to be delivered!

She's not just one of my best friends, she's extended family to me. And I kid you not when I say that 90% of this Buzzfeed list applies to us.

This is why I'm nominating her.

Who would you nominate and why?

*      *      *      *      *      *

Boots UK, in partnership with the Daily Mail and This Morning, has launched the 2014 Health Hero Awards. The Awards celebrate heroes of healthcare - the thousands of people who make a difference to our lives every day. You can nominate anyone you want, from a best friend who has supported you through a tough period of ill-health or your family doctor. Each of the five finalists will receive an all-expenses paid VIP trip to London, staying at a top hotel, with tickets to the Health Hero Awards Gala Dinner. The Health Hero that's made the biggest difference to someone's life will be announced at the celebrity gala dinner and they'll receive a well-deserved family holiday up to the value of £5,000. To nominate your health hero, you need to visit www.boots.com/healthheroes or pick up a leaflet from a Boots UK store. Nominations close Tuesday, May 20th, 2014. 

And, Shep, if by some miracle you actually go ahead and win this, can I please remind you that you have said before that you consider me family, and I therefore would like to be included in the family holiday prize. Please and thank you ;-)      

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: Remembering My First Diabetes Anniversary.

This Saturday (March 29th) marks my 4th diabetes anniversary. This is me and my flatmates on my first diabetes anniversary.

What I Should Have Said.

This weekend, Louise came to visit, and it was so much fun. We went to a local coffee shop in town and met up with a couple of other people with diabetes. It was lovely. It's the one good thing to come out of living with this condition: the people I've met. 

As we were sat there talking about various aspects of diabetes and our lives in general, we noticed a family at the table next to us. The child had a glucose meter and was working out how much insulin he needed to take with his food. I've not had a great deal of contact with children with diabetes, but they are always the ones that make my heart ache when I see them checking their blood sugar or injecting insulin.

Our tables were pretty close together, and I could see the child's parents nodding along to some of the things we'd said. And I wish more than anything that I'd said something. Anything. Even if I'd just got out my own blood glucose meter as some kind of sign that said "Hey! What you were doing earlier, checking your blood sugar?! I do that too!"

But I didn't.

And I think of my parents. They have very little to do with my diabetes-life, but when my Mum's best friend's son (that's a mouthful!) was diagnosed a couple of years after me (also as adult) they gravitated towards each other even more because there was another common bond.

Okay, this family may have had the support of people who understand.

On the other hand, they may not have.

So I wish I'd said something. A "You know what, this sucks, but it's not the end of the world either" or a "You're doing great", some words of encouragement.

But nothing. This is what I should have said:

This sucks. Diabetes sucks. But it's not the end of the world. And you know what? You really are doing great. I know it's not always easy, but together as a family you can do this. And your kid? He's a hero in my eyes.

But I didn't.

Instead, I just reciprocated the smile and slight nod of the head they gave us as they left the café. 

 

My Final Semester.

Oh. My. God. 

I can remember starting uni so vividly. Scared, nervous but incredibly excited all at the same time. I remember meeting my flat mates and my Mum freaking out about leaving me and my diabetes with these "strangers" a mere six months after diagnosis ("TELL THEM!" she told me!) Little did she know, these "strangers" would not only become some of my best friends, but also my family too. And know far more about diabetes than she does!

Now, here I am, on the first day of my last semester at uni. As an undergraduate, at least, anyway. I've spent this past weekend preparing - buying paper, pens, folders and other appropriate stationary items, doing dissertation reading, checking my timetable, catching up on uni-related emails (which get 100% ignored during the holidays) and catching up with my housemates after the Christmas break. Normal student things. 

After this semester, however, I need a plan. Like a grown-up plan. I'm talking job, finances, a grown-up place to live (because let's face it, student houses aren't where it's at). I've applied for a few grad schemes, but until I know whether or not I've been successful, I can't really make any solid plans, which terrifies me. I hate not knowing. But I'm also excited. I can finally find out the answer to one of the questions I've always asked myself:

What do real adults even do?!

According to a friend, the answer is as follows:

"As far as I can tell, they attempt to get jobs, become boring effs and never go out or do anything that might come close to making the most out of life. Cool kids get away, travel and live their lives."

I'm not certain which category I'm going to fall into yet, but I've promised myself I will make the most out of which ever situation I find myself in. 

At this stage, that's all I can do.

But, for now? Final semester: let's do this!  

That Friendly Waitress.

Last Friday, I went out to lunch with my sister, E.Hales and my housemate, Shep - it was our belated Christmas meal. It was really nice to spend time with the three of them together. My sister and I are a lot closer now compared to a few years back and E.Hales and Shep are two of my best friends, so it's really great for me that they both get on as well (E.Hales I know from school and I met Shep at uni).

We were chatting away, like we do when the waitress brought us our meals. Mine and my sister's came out first. I looked at my plate (grilled Mediterranean vegetable linguine if you were wondering), guessed at the carbs and took my insulin. During this process, the waitress had come back with the other two meals. 

"I'll let you do that first," she said, "My daughter gets annoyed when I 'crowd her space' when she does her injections."

"Thanks," I replied having done the injection.

"She's type one too. Ten years now. But she's struggling at the moment. Fed up with it. Just doesn't want to do it anymore. That's normal, right?"

She had 'concerned parent' written all over her face. 

"Yes," I responded quickly, wanting to put her mind at rest, "So normal! It's called 'burnout' and it sucks big time!"

And then I saw relief fill her face. What her daughter's going through isn't unheard of. 

"Thank you," she said, and she left us to our meals.

Image take from Google Images.

Later, she came to clear our plates from dessert. I'd had profiteroles. 

"Was everything okay for you ladies?"

"Lovely, thank you!"

"And did you take some extra insulin with yours?" she asked me.

"Crap, no! Thank you!" I replied as the others laughed.

"It's the Mum in me...I had to make sure."

It's safe to say she got a good tip from us.  

Spinning.

Other than seeing my family, my absolute favourite part of coming back to Mum and Dad's for the holidays is seeing E.Hales and Doodle. We text pretty much everyday, and we skype when we can, but nothing compares to a catch-up over coffee (or tea in my case) with her and the sound of Doodle's voice saying "Auntie Vicki", often followed by a run-and-hug. 

Yesterday, we iced gingerbread men. 

Today, we did spinning.

First note to self: don't engage in any activity with the kid that I don't want to be doing for the rest of the afternoon!

I picked Doodle up once and spun him round.

"Again, Auntie Vicki! Please!"

So I did. You try and say "no" to his smile. And "Auntie Vicki" - I can't say "no" when he "Auntie-s" me!

"Again......again......again!"

And hello blood sugar of 2.8mmol when I got back to Mum and Dad's!

Second note to self: reduce insulin when spinning is the kid's game of choice!

Friends With D Are Friends Indeed!

After the World Diabetes Day Postcard Exchange, I received a couple of extra bits of post from two lovely people, also lacking fully-functioning pancreases.

Lizzie and Daisy, you girls are brilliant! Thank you so much for my mail and for making me smile in spite of all the deadlines I have right now! 

I look forward to seeing you both soon!

<3

In It Together.

Last night, I'd set an alarm to check my blood sugar at around 3am. I was at 18.9mmol before bed and had trace ketones, so I wanted to check my blood sugar again to make sure I was coming down, as well as check again for ketones.

The alarm went off. I reached my arm out from the warmth of my duvet cover and grabbed my diabetes bag. Eyes still shut, I unzipped it and found my meter, test strips and finger pricker (what's the technical term for that?!) Test strip inserted, I pricked my finger and waited the 5 seconds for a result to be displayed.

4.7mmol.

I was no longer sky-high.

I had a couple of jelly babies to top-up and then psyched myself up to actually get up from my bed to test for ketones. For me, ketone tests come in the form of the little strips you have to pee on. 

Classy, huh?! 

Ketones: negative. Seeing as I was in the bathroom, I also gave my teeth a quick clean after the jelly babies. 

I rushed back to bed, desperate to be warm again, and looked at my phone. I had two messages. 

One was from Lopez, who lives in the US. It's pretty normal for me to wake up in the morning to messages from her. 

The other was from Lizzie.

Now, Lizzie and I text pretty much everyday. And although diabetes makes up part of the conversation, our friendship has extended beyond that - it's more than diabetes.

23.54 (19/11/13) - "18.9 and trace ketones :( corrected and alarm set for 3am to sugar and ketone test again! Too tired for this shit! Stupid garlic bread with dinner. I just need to avoid bread. I know it's my food nemesis!"

03.16 (20/11/13) - "How you doing ha? Just woke to a 17.1. Correction and pants much!"

03.38 (20/11/13) - "4.7 and ketone free. Just had a couple of jelly babies. I'm cold now I've got out of bed though! We're such a pair!"

As sucky as living with diabetes is, moments like this make me smile. Don't get me wrong, I'm not smiling at the fact Lizzie had a 17.1 or the fact that I had to wake up to check my blood sugars were stable and that I was ketone free. But it's the comfort, so to speak, of knowing that, even when things are really shit, there's always someone there, someone that "gets it". That's pretty darn awesome, and something I will never take for granted.    

Busy Bee!

Such a busy weekend! On Thursday, I left uni to pay my family and friends a visit back home. Home. Such a loaded word. I refer to my uni town as home, my hometown as home, and I'm pretty sure when I was on year abroad, I also referred to both Toulouse and Alcalá as home! Don't really know where home is these days. But that's a whole other blog post!

Thursday was Halloween, so I went trick or treating with my chica, E.Hales, and my godson, Doodle. It was so much fun! Although, my godson hasn't quite grasped the concept of scary, so went round dressed as Woody from Toy Story. And of course I made sure I got a share of his sweet-stash! Halloween's definitely not just for kids!

On Friday, I spent a lot of the day with my Mum, which was lovely, and then I went for coffee and cake with another friend. Three hours later, we thought about leaving the coffee shop and heading home. Was great to see her: girl time, gossip, coffee, cake...what's not to love?!

Saturday was jam-packed! I went for lunch with E.Hales and Jones for Jones' birthday. We went to La Tasca which was amazinggggg! I felt like I was in Spain again eating Tapas! I loved it! Although, the art of calculating the perfect bolus for tapas seems to have been lost since my return to England, as my glucose levels were not what you would call good after. Food was soooo good though. And after sweets on Halloween, and cake on the Friday, it was safe to see the weekend was going to be a write-off when it came to glucose levels!

Saturday night, E.Hales, Doodle, my kid-brother and I went to a Firework Display which was awesome! I really missed going out for Bonfire Night when I was abroad! Doodle loved it - didn't jump once, got up and danced to the music, and attempted singing many of the songs! He melted the hearts of many, myself included!

Finally, on Sunday, I had a roast dinner, courtesy of my Mum and it was incredible! Roast dinner is without a doubt my favourite meal! And between all of this, I still managed to write an essay and do other bits of uni work. I don't know how, but I did!

This "mini-break" at home has been good for me. Not so great diabetes-wise, but I needed the change of scenery. Final year is hard-going, and coming back and seeing my family and friends has provided the light relief I needed. But now, it's back to good diabetes practises and hitting the books once more. I've got a degree to get! Not long until Christmas break now! 

Ready...Set...Go: #DUKBigEvent.

Oh, Diabetes UK, you know how to put on a great event!

The Saturday just gone (September 14th), I went to The Big Event hosted by, in case you haven't figured it out already, Diabetes UK (DUK). This post is long overdue, but here it is. I still don't think this will do the event justice, but I'm hoping it explains why I thought the day was full of awesome!

I went to the event with Lizzie and Louise; Lizzie, I knew beforehand, Louise, I didn't, but thanks to this amazing thing known as social media, I knew her in the online sense of the word. We registered, received our name badges and bag of goodies, and made our way into the main hall bit. Tea in hand, we made a quick plan of what talks we wanted to go to and headed to the first session, "What diabetes care to expect: Type 1."

This first session looked at the 15 Healthcare Essentials that DUK have said all people with diabetes should receive. Something that came up a lot during this session was the concept of "tailored healthcare plans" and the fact that "targets should be individual to each person" - yes, there are guidelines in place, particularly with the hba1c blood test, but it's important for healthcare professionals (HCPs) to remember that it's difficult for some patients to reach those targets: you are not your number. By adjusting them to match the individual, they're almost eliminating that sense of failure that they feel due to not meeting that magic 'a1c of 7% (53mmol/l). 

Photo courtesy of Louise.

The second session we chose to go to was "Insulin pumps and continuous glucose monitoring (CGM): basics." Obviously, pumps and CGM were covered, but they also spoke about the "Artificial Pancreas" and where that's going, which was pretty cool. I'm not all that great at science and the jargon that comes with it, so I'm not going to try to explain what it is on here for fear that I'll get it wrong, but if you click here and here you'll hopefully find better explanations than what I can provide!

Session three took place after lunch, and it was "Research and type one diabetes" which began with a brief history of diabetes-related research, kicking off with the discovery of insulin back in 1922 (thank you Banting and Best!) right up to present day where we have the "Artificial Pancreas" being trialled, as well as stem cell therapy and immuotherapies. Again, not being science-minded, I don't trust myself to relay information correctly, but if you click here you will be taken to the DUK website page where you can find information about all the current research projects going on and how to get involved in trials should you wish to.

The day ended with the session "Emotional issues: coping with type one diabetes." This was my favourite session, as I personally feel that this is overlooked by a lot of HCPs. People with diabetes are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and it's important that we're aware of our triggers - we need to try to "recognise [stress] signals and know we need to take better care of ourselves." For me though, the key message from this talk was:

As the day drew to a close, a group of us made our way to a restaurant near the venue and sat down for an early dinner together and it was like we'd known each other for years. We spoke diabetes. We spoke about our lives in general. We laughed at the fact that Max had walked away with four new blood testing kits. Four. "They were handing them out for free!"
   
What struck me the most, however?! How sad I was to leave. Diabetes isn't exactly new to me anymore, but I am new to the whole actually having a support network in the form of other people with diabetes. But I wish I'd got more involved from the start, both online and off. I hate diabetes. I love the community. Community is good for my emotional health; it makes dealing with diabetes that little bit easier. In the words of Lizzie, "It's sad something like this [beta cells gone bad] brought us together, but I love it."

So thanks for having me, DUK. It was awesome, and I look forward to more events like it!

Online/Offline.

Image taken from Google Images.

Earlier today, a friend on Twitter asked the following question:

"Ok #doc #pwd: do you have more diabetic friends online or offline? Have you met any of your online friends?"

I think my views when it comes to the Diabetes Online Community (DOC) are pretty obvious: I love it. It's "open" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Where else do you get support like that?! 

At Friends for Life this year, there was a panel discussing "Social Media and the Monster Under the Bed: the Latest Thinking on Fearing vs. Embracing Social Media" which was streamed live so members of the DOC not at the conference could watch and take part. I watched this after the event, and it was the opening statistics that surprised me, but then didn't surprise me, at the same time. If that makes any sense?! "People with diabetes spend more than 20% of their time online and on social networks." That's a lot of time when you compare it to the "0.1% of their time which is actually spent with medical professionals." (Quotes taken from the video.)

So, for me, the DOC is important. I've noticed a huge difference in how I manage my diabetes since getting involved. Don't get me wrong, I'd never force someone to join in, but I would make them aware of the fact that it is there if they want it - no force-feeding of community!

The other thing I love about the DOC? How it's slowly moving offline as well. The summer before I went on my year abroad, Lizzie, initially an online friend, and I decided to meet offline. And it was awesome. And this is happening more and more, through conferences, like the Greater Minds Inspire event I went to back in July, and The Big Event, organised by Diabetes UK, taking place next weekend, which I can't wait for!

Okay, I am biased, but this community's pretty darn sweet (no pun intended...okay, maybe a little...) and whether it be online or offline, I'm excited to see what it does next.

Sidenote: Unicorn for the DOC?! Who knew?!     

Fine.

For the last year, I've dealt with my diabetes on my own. I've had to. I went on my year abroad. No healthcare team, no family, no housemates. No one. And I learnt how to handle diabetes on my own. Yeah, it was tough, and I turned to the online community for support, but I did it. It's my biggest achievement to date. 

But now I'm not on year abroad. I'm home. In my uni town, with the friends I lived with in my first and second years of uni. I don't need to handle diabetes on my own. I have their support. After a year of managing it on my own, so to speak, I need to remind myself that they know how I deal with this and what to do in different situations. 

Last night, we went to our local pub and diabetes was not playing ball! High blood sugars all night, and on my first night back, of all times. Thanks, diabetes! And my housemate was concerned. And I kept on shooting him down telling him I was fine. It's my trademark saying. If things are good, I'm fine. If things are bad, I'm fine. I'm always fine. But he knows that "fine" doesn't always mean "fine". Last night was one of those occasions. And I was effed off.

I was annoyed that diabetes wouldn't play ball.

I was annoyed that it wouldn't play ball on my first night back.

And I was annoyed that my housemate wouldn't let it drop. 

But I shouldn't have been annoyed. I should have been grateful that he did notice that something wasn't right. I shouldn't have shot him down.

I need to remember that I'm back in a place where I have support. Time to break those year abroad habits. 

Yellow Smiley Dude.

Back at the end of April, Circle D celebrated its' 5th birthday, but because I was abroad, I wasn't able to make it. Yesterday I met up with Shelley to celebrate her diabetes anniversary (10 years living with diabetes) and she gave me a little card from the Circle D Birthday celebration. It put the biggest smile on my face. You can't see the writing in the picture, so here's what it says:

"Thank you so much for being part of Circle D. Thank you for all your support whether you are a newbie or whether you have been with us for the whole 5 years or somewhere in between, it really does mean a lot :)

The yellow smiley dude is to make you smile when the D gets you down. When you feel the D rage you can stretch out his arms and lets to release your stress and he will keep on smiling - bless him!!!

If you live with/are related to/are friends with a D this is a thank you for putting up with us! :)

You may name your smiley but is must start with a D hahaha :0) carry him/her everywhere as you never know when you may need to rant!

And finally thank you for helping me prove that we really are not alone! Nearly 10 years ago on my diagnosis day a nurse told me I was the only one! :0(

Here's to the next 5 years and beyond!

Big love - Shelley xxx"

It just sums it all up for me: diabetes sucks, big time, but everything that comes along with it kind of makes up for the crapiness (making up words now!) of it all. So, I say again, whatever crappy condition you're living with (if any, of course), go find others in the same boat as you. Doing exactly that is the best thing I've ever done.

To find out more about Circle D please visit www.circledrocks.co.uk

Two Type Ones.

Image taken from Google Images.

I've just arrived back in Kent after spending the last week in Norwich staying with a friend up there. For the first time ever, I lived with another type one diabetic. Now, this may seem like a silly thing to get excited about, but hear me out.

Living with someone else who has to deal with type one diabetes meant that all those things that I do that seem "odd" were no longer "odd".

• Checking my blood sugar. To those close to me, they don't think twice about it, but to others there's still that "what's she doing...oh yeah!".
• The mess in the kitchen after a middle-of-the-night hypo - it's just evidence that there was one, but no moaning about how the kitchen's a state. 
• The trail of test strips that seem to follow me wherever I go were just there - there was no moaning about the mess they made. 
• Counting carbs was almost a competitive sport - who can guess correctly/the closest to the actual carb value.
• Vocab such as "shoot up", "bloods" and "rage bolus" were the norm and there was no questioning of what such terms meant. 

All in all, I had a great week in Norwich. I'd really missed the city, so it was so nice to go back before September! I'm looking forward to returning on a more long-term basis come September. 

All Things Diabetes.

Norwich.

I'm currently back in Norwich where I'm basically having an "All Things Diabetes" week. It's also an "All Things Brownies" week too, now I think about it! They are definitely the two things that have dominated my last two days and will continue to dominate my life for the next week:

Yesterday (Friday) - Arrived in Norwich. Staying with a friend who's also type one. Surprised the Brownies by going back. Made leader in charge cry (something to cross off the bucket list!)

Today (Saturday) - Birthday lunch with friends who happen to have type one diabetes. It was a bit like diabetics reunited. Got caught up on some diabetes-related projects. 

Tomorrow (Sunday) - Brownie stuff: clearing out store cupboard and church hall followed by church parade and picnic.

Monday - Coffee with a friend from year abroad. Neither diabetes nor Brownie related!

Tuesday - Catch up with Brownie leaders.

Wednesday - Diabetes clinic. Just thinking about it feels me with dread!

Thursday - Out with same friends as I was today (Saturday).

Friday - Brownies.

Saturday - Greater Minds Inspire event: I'm very excited about this event. It's open for 10 to 21 year olds. You can find out more by clicking here, and you will also find details on how to register for the event (which is completely free!)

Busy, busy week! But I'm looking forward to it. Apart from clinic. I'd like to skip that part! Pretty certain we all would if we could, actually!

Together.

My Person and My Chica.

I'm not really in touch with anyone from sixth form anymore, and those I am in touch with are, quite literally, my best ones: Nem, Jones and E.Hales.

But Nem's in a league of her own as we go to uni together too. 

So Jones and E.Hales.

My Person and My Chica. 

My extended family, where E.Hales is Supermum to Doodle and Jones and I have "Auntie" titles. We call each other out when we think a person's in the wrong. We tell each other when lines have been crossed. We drink ridiculous amounts of tea. And coffee for that matter. We (well, Jones and I) enjoy playing with Doodle's toys more than Doodle actually does. We can find a Friends quote for every situation (some may say we have an unhealthy addiction to that show...we disagree!)

But, most importantly, we pull through for each other no matter what. We don't always agree on things, but we never stop caring. We've been through a hell of a lot over the years, and we've always been there for each other.

Old friends. New friends. Boyfriends. Heartbreak. Family problems. Diabetes. Pregnancy. University. Moving. Year abroad. And a hell of a lot more. 

It's been a long couple of days, and I am drained. As excited as I am about going back to Norwich, the timing sucks. I'm needed here with them. Not only am I needed, but I want to be here with them. 

It's days like today when I remember just how lucky I am to have them in my life. We've been through too much together to walk away from each other now.

"Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it."

And we will. Every minute of it. The good, the bad, the ugly. Together.

Child's Play.

My godson, Doodle, is at that age where he's fascinated by everything, particularly technology. Mobile phones, ipods, the DVD player, the games console. My Blackberry is something he loves to get his hands on (but can't figure out how to use it as E.Hales has an Iphone, and my Blackberry has buttons - Auntie Vicki 1, Doodle 0!) He knows how to turn the DVD player on, change disks and then play a different movie (and this happens in the two minutes when E.Hales and I are in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil!) It's crazy!

Another thing he's recently become fascinated with is my blood testing kit. Except, out of all the bits of technology I carry in my handbag, it's the one thing that really can't be used as a "toy". Except, what do you tell a two-year-old other than "no". I felt there needed to be some sort of explanation as to why I wanted him to take my Blackberry over the glucose meter.

- "Doodle's?"

- "No, Doodle, this one's Auntie Vicki's; I need it to stay healthy."

- "No, Doodle's."

- "Sorry, Doodle. Here, play with my phone."

- "No!" 

- "Doodle, you can't have this one. It's special. Auntie Vicki has diabetes. Can you say 'diabetes'?"

- "Diabebes!"

- "Close enough! Auntie Vicki uses it to check her blood. Do you want to help? [Doodle nods] Ok, take a srtip from the pot...just one! Good boy! [I put strip into meter and it turns on - Doodle's amazed. I get finger-pricker and place it on my little finger] Now, I need you to press this button here and you'll here a clicking sound when it's done. [Doodle presses button. I check my blood. Number appears.] What number's that, Doodle?"

- "Six!"

- "And what does the other number say?"

- "Nine!"

- "And what colour is the rectangle next to the number?"

- "Green!"

- "And what does 'green' mean?"

- "GO!"

Close enough. Then he found something else to play with. 

Locked Out!

Image taken from Google Images.

Last night, E.Hales and I had a girls' night in. With me being back and forth all the time because of uni, it's not often we get to sit down and have a proper catch up, so we took advantage of this. Doodle went to bed, we ordered in Indian food and out came the bottle of white that had been chilling in her fridge since I arrived (I brought the important things - alcohol and insulin!) We watched crappy tv, gossipped, caught up properly for the first time in, what, about 10 months?! I mean, we'd seen each other in between, but this was a proper, proper catch up. There's a difference!

What with eating Indian food, drinking wine and eating chocolate, it's safe to say there was some mad sugar-watching going on on my part...until, for some reason, when I went to switch my glucose meter on, the screen lit up with the picture of a padlock! I don't know how, or why, but I'd been locked out of my glucose meter! And, of course, I didn't have a clue how to unlock it! 

I tried turning it off and on again, I took the batteries out hoping that would fix it. Nothing. So, next, I'm browsing the internet on my Blackberry trying to find the solution and had no luck. Phoned home and asked Mum to see if she could find the instruction manual to the meter and tell me how to unlock it...again, no luck! I'm getting frustrated at this point - my glucose meter (particularly this Accu-Chek meter with all the fancy functions) is up there with my Blackberry and Ipod in the sense that I couldn't be without them, and the thought of having to ring up Accu-Chek for a new one and then wait for it to arrive...no!

Ready to throw the meter at the wall at this point, E.Hales takes it from me, presses some buttons and she's unlocked it. Panic (on my part) over.

E.Hales, 1. Vicki, 0.