Food, Guilt And Diabetes.

There's a lot of guilt that comes with diabetes. For me personally, a lot of that guilt revolves around my food choices. 

I feel guilty when I have a baguette for lunch, as I know that I really struggle to bolus for bread. 

I feel guilty when I indulge, even though I know it's not a regular occurrence.

I have a complex when I carb count my dinner and the total comes out at 90 grams - I feel like I should not be putting 90 grams of carb into my body in one go. 

Likewise, 90 grams of carb for me equates to 13 units of NovoRapid, and I also have a complex when it comes to injecting more than 10 units in one hit - I tend to split the dose. 

Image taken from Google Images.

And I hate it when other people call me out on my food choices, as, even though it's my diabetes, and I know what I'm doing, I still feel a level of guilt, as if they're right and I should know better.

It's a difficult balancing act, one I struggle with. I've written previously about my issues with food. It's part of the reason this blog was started.

This week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (NEDAW). Although this post isn't specifically about an eating disorder, it is about a disordered attitude toward food.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes, everything became about food: good foods, bad foods, carb-free (read: fun free) foods, knowing how different foods affect blood sugars, knowing how to count carbs, having to eat food when hypo. Food was at the forefront of everything for me, and, god forbid I saw food for what it was: food. 

This has lessened over the last year or so, and my attitude toward food is much healthier. It's not perfect, and I have my moments, but on the whole, it's positive. I eat healthily, but allow myself the treats, and know how different foods affect my blood sugars.

Food, guilt and diabetes. It's a delicate balancing act. 

[As mentioned, this week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (NEDAW). You can find out more by visiting B-eat's website and the Diabetics With Eating Disorders website (DWED)].