Comforts.

Although I moved out from my parents' house when I started university, I've never actually lived alone with type one diabetes. I've always had the back-up of having other people in the house the majority of the time. For the last week, however, my parents and siblings went on holiday, leaving me home alone. 

It was great. I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted to. I could watch whatever I wanted on the TV (hello re-runs of One Tree Hill). I didn't have to tell anyone where I was/when I was going to be back. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, and my siblings, but living back under their roof after four years of having my own place is a hard transition. 

However, having the place to myself also meant that I was the only one around should anything happen with regard to my health. So when that low blood sugar hit at 2am, not only was I shaking and sweating, trying to count the sips of cranberry juice as to not over treat, but I also felt even more vulnerable as I didn't have the back-up of someone else there. And when my blood sugar checked in at 16mmol one afternoon, and that panic that I feel with highs set in, I didn't have the reassurance of someone else around should my blood sugar have not come down.

In these situations, I turn to this:

I know what you're thinking. It's a teddy. But it's more than just a teddy. I was given him (I never actually named the bear, it's just always been a "him") by E.Hales when I was first diagnosed, and he's lived in every house I've lived in since. Even on my year abroad. He's just been kept hidden, but he's the first thing I go to when I find myself in need of comfort when certain "diabetes-moments" hit.   

It's by no means the first time I've found myself in situations where I'm living alone for a period of time, and it won't be the last. But diabetes is one of those conditions where I'm fine...until I'm not. And when I'm not, diabetes often leaves me feeling scared, vulnerable and weak. However, I'm not prepared to let diabetes interfere with my life plans. Instead, I do all I can to stay as safe as possible, and when those highs and lows do occur, I learn how to cope with them. 

Even if 'coping' means turning to a teddy bear.