Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Diabetes Blog Week: Day 3 - What Brings Me Down.

May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and/or your loved one, and how do you cope?

Sometimes, I feel like I lead a bit of a double life.

Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I don't know how else to describe it. Let me explain:

To some, I'm Vicki, a daughter, a sister, an auntie, a friend, a language student, a Brownie leader and, yes, a type one diabetic. 

To others, I'm Vicki, a daughter, a sister, an auntie, a friend, a language student, a Brownie leader and, yes, a type one diabetic, who also happens to write a blog and do other diabetes-related stuff online, and sometimes offline

My blog is my therapy, my little bubble in which I can talk diabetes, from the triumphs to the meltdowns to advocating for myself and others. 

It's also my little secret. 

A few of my closest friends know this exists. My sister recently found out (although I don't actually know if she reads this - hey if you are!). But the rest of my family don't know. 

When I first started this blog, I had no idea it would turn into what it has. So I didn't think to mention it when I started. Now, however, it's grown more than I ever imagined, and it's getting harder and harder to keep a secret. I recently had a blog post published on the JDRF website, which I was so proud of, but I also panicked, as it was linked on Facebook with my name, and the people on my Facebook could see it. I know one of my uncles saw it, as he "liked" the link. Whether or not it gets mentioned the next time I see him, I don't know. Guess I'll have to wait and see.

It's not that I don't want my family, or other friends of mine, to know about it. I'm incredibly proud to be a part of this community. I guess I just worry about how they will react to it, especially as this is something I've kept under wraps for over a year now. It just seems the longer it goes on, the harder it is to "out myself" as a diabetes blogger.

As for how I cope with it, well, the support I get from my friends that know about this blog is incredible, and the DOC never fails to blow me away with the amount of advice and support it offers! Thank you just doesn't seem like enough.  

Of all the things I could have written about, this is what I choose. Not exactly where I thought this post would go, but there you go! Don't get me wrong, diabetes brings me down in lots of other ways too - I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had the occasional pity party or had days of endless frustration. But right now, it's this "double life" that is getting me down. 

Maybe in the not too distant future I'll find it in me to tell my family and other friends.

Probably blog about it too ;-)

To read more blog posts for day three of diabetes blog week, you can find a link list here.


  1. Aww, I like your approach to this topic! I hope you are able to tell your family and friends! I'm kind of similar to you where I've told a few but the admitted to me that they read a few posts but overall it was over their heads so they stopped reading. I wish they would keep reading though to understand what my life is like because they usually just see the cheerful side of me, not the side that struggles. Although, I guess it's not bad to just see a cheerful side of me :-P

    1. See, that's another thing I worry about - I don't live at home anymore, so my parents don't see much of my diabetes. I don't want them to see this and then start panicking! I'd rather them see the somewhat-composed-and-relatively-together version of me! But at the same time, I want them to see my side. It's a tough one!

  2. You're amazing Vicki, my lovely. You deserve to be proud of this blog and everything else you do, because the impact you have on other people's lives is priceless. I hope you one day are able to tell your family and other friends about it because I'm sure they'd be so proud of you. I can totally see why it gets you down though - when I first started writing I was so worried about writing about the parts of diabetes I knew full well no one knew, especially not my parents (like skipping injections etc.) As it turns out, they're just happy that blogging helps me to manage my diabetes. I'd like to think that would be the same for you <3 Love you lots, wonderful girl xxxxxxxx

    1. Thanks for your lovely words, Daisy! xxxxx

  3. I swear I could've written this myself (in a sense...maybe I did!). I think, though I like to believe I don't feel shame in HAVING diabetes, I do feel a little shame in opening up about it. And that double-life really is hard. Thanks so much to 'fessing up to this and for validating my own similar feelings and actions.

    1. Your blog post on this 100% resonated with me! So thanks also to you for validating my feelings and actions!